Discovering Imaginatively

Raise your hand if you have dreams? Ok, now put your hands down, because that's weird...especially if you're in public and no one knows what's happening. We all dream at night, sure, unless you're a robot I guess, but I'm talking about using your imagination to think up the craziest thing you can think up or the biggest future you could picture yourself in if there were no limits. Some of us have forgotten how to use that thing called "imagination" over the years, because we've been too busy "adulting," but Ephesians 3:20 says "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think..." Ok, that says, God is able to do above/beyond anything in our lives that we could ever imagine or dream of. For me that means I better start using my imagination a little more, because if I'm imagining or dreaming up things I can accomplish on my own, that doesn't really give God anything to work with. He's good at doing the impossible, so I think that's how I need to start dreaming - impossibly.

All that to say, God has been taking me on a journey of encountering Him through my imagination. If God created me, then He created my imagination, and if God is good and I'm made in His image, then my imagination is good, especially since I've been given the mind of Christ and my mind is being renewed through His word. One way this has helped me is in reading the Bible. I've been taking a class called "Loving the Word," and one thing that has totally changed the way I read the Bible is reading it as an actual book with stories/characters and putting myself in the stories. It's easy to get lost in a good novel, but for some reason that seems harder when we read the Bible. Or is that just me? Anyone? Ok, moving on. This has been a great tool for me in being able to really enjoy reading the Bible and seeing it in a new way, and one of our recent assignments in this class was to choose a passage and then respond to it in a creative way; I chose a short story.

Now before some of you  freak out and think this is blasphemy or "non-biblical," I'm not saying this is an interpretation of the Bible or that I'm adding to it or anything like that. I'm simply IMAGINING, what the story may have actually been like by putting myself in it. For me this creates an invitation to actually experience, study, and dive into the Bible in a greater way. So I'm posting my assignment below; I read from Acts 19:1-12 and chose a unique perspective from which to tell the story...just for fun. I know this is a bit long, but I'm posting the passage and then the story so you get the idea; I hope that the story creates an invitation for you to see the Bible in a different way and encourages you to dive in and start studying it more!

Acts 19:1-12

1 While Apollos was in Corinth, Paul traveled through the interior regions and came to Ephesus. He found some disciples 2 and asked them, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed? ”

“No,” they told him, “we haven’t even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.”

3 “Then what baptism were you baptized with? ” he asked them.

“With John’s baptism,” they replied.

4 Paul said, “John baptized with a baptism of repentance, telling the people that they should believe in the One who would come after him, that is, in Jesus.”

5 When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 6 And when Paul had laid his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they began to speak in other languages and to prophesy. 7 Now there were about 12 men in all.

8 Then he entered the synagogue and spoke boldly over a period of three months, engaging in discussion and trying to persuade them about the things of the kingdom of God. 9 But when some became hardened and would not believe, slandering the Way in front of the crowd, he withdrew from them and met separately with the disciples, conducting discussions every day in the lecture hall of Tyrannus. 10 And this went on for two years, so that all the inhabitants of Asia, both Jews and Greeks, heard the message about the Lord.

11 God was performing extraordinary miracles by Paul’s hands, 12 so that even facecloths or work aprons[fn] that had touched his skin were brought to the sick, and the diseases left them, and the evil spirits came out of them. (Taken from the HCSB)

Short-Story

To many he is considered a father; to some, he’s the opposition, the blasphemer; and to others he’s a friend. But I knew him before the crowd. As a young man learning and growing, I was with him. I remember the long nights of wiping away tears and the hard days of blotting up sweat that others hadn’t seen. I knew him as Saul, and through a long and wonderful journey, I not only saw his transformation, but was transformed myself through his mission.

⧫

The soft breeze blew through me and the scent of fresh air filled my fibers. Saul, who had now become known throughout the region as Paul, had once again brought me along in his journeys of traveling to different lands, engaging with different people, and showing them the Way. We had recently finished our journey through Corinth and had begun traveling through the interior regions when we came to Ephesus, a land of great intelligence, debates and discussions. The air was thick with thoughts and opinions from scholars and teachers of many different things.

As we were coming into the city we stopped at a market where a group of men were discussing baptism; you could always tell when people were part of The Way. There was something about their countenance that was different from others. Overhearing their discussion, Paul, as usual, took it upon himself to join the men. “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?” Paul asked the small gathering.

“No,” they responded, “we haven’t heard that there is a Holy Spirit.” The excitement flickered in Paul’s eyes at their response for he knew what would come next as was his experience through our journeys.

“Then with what baptism were you baptized?” he asked them.

“With John’s baptism,” they replied in somewhat nervous mutters not quite knowing where the conversation was going. At this point the fire was bright in Paul’s eyes; he couldn’t help it. He was a changed man who had been gripped by love and now had a mission.

“John baptized with a baptism of repentance, telling the people that they should believe in the One who would come after him, that is, in Jesus.” he said with a boldness and animation that I was use to hearing ring from his voice when he began talking about Jesus. You could tell that the group of disciples began to catch the life that seemed to float across the air with Paul’s words, and one by one the light came upon them. On hearing this, they were all baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus, and as Paul laid his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came upon them, and they began to speak with other languages and to prophesy. You could see and hear the surprise, excitement, and joy all in one from their faces and voices.

These were my favorite times from our excursions - the change was tangible and the name and person of Jesus was now known in a greater measure than it had been before this point in time. We met with the disciples regularly, and I listened quietly, expectantly as Paul daily taught these men about Jesus and living a life worthy of Him. We began meeting regularly in the synagogue. Paul would teach the Way and share about his experience of how Jesus changed him and the Truth about Jesus - that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life; He’s the only way to the Father. The disciples came and taught with Paul’s guidance. This continued for three months, but with little to no avail. There was something in the Jews’ countenance that remained unwavered by Paul and the disciples words and teachings. Paul perceived their hearts and realizing the people were immovable in their current state and desiring to protect the newly baptized disciples, we withdrew.

Paul, a brilliant man, had another idea. If the Jews would not listen, he would speak to those who would, but that required a change in our routine. Instead of speaking in the cool of the morning when most teachers do, and which we had been doing, Paul began working in the early hours as did the other laymen. It happened that one morning while working we encountered a man named Tyrannus. A man of small stature, but of great means and well-known throughout the scholarly community. He immediately took a liking to Paul and made his teaching hall available to Paul upon hearing that Paul was intelligent like himself.   

The next week, we were up early, and I sat and listened to Paul speak with Holy Spirit as he engaged in his trade of tentmaking. I watched as Paul carefully worked at crafting every part, and the detail and attention he gave to his trade was the same detail and attention that he gave to every person that he engaged with throughout the morning. When the cool, morning air began to grow warm from the sun and the heat became too much for work, Paul would leave his work and take up just what he needed to the day. We walked for some time down to the hall of Tyrannus, the generous intellectual who enjoyed his former conversation with Paul. As we came upon the theatre men began filling the halls for it was the time of day where men would break from their labors to engage in discussion and debates while resting from their work in the heat of the day.

We came upon a few men on the outer edge of the halls and Paul began to discuss their trades and inquire about their life stories. From that point he began to share of his own journeys and his transformation through Jesus. I noticed after sometime of discussing with these men that the few had grown to many, and the majority of the men in the theatre had filled the space where we were. There was something in Paul’s words - life -  that drew the gentiles near. From that day on we we would walk down to the theatre of Tyrannus as the sun rose higher into the afternoon sky to discuss with the men who were lounging their from their morning’s work. The many different men from all trades and backgrounds of all shapes and sizes began to bring others - colleagues, friends, family - to engage in discussion with Paul.

And this went on for two years, so that all the inhabitants of Asia, both Jews and Greeks, heard the message about the Lord.I watched from the background as countenances changed, hearts grew and the miraculous took place. God was performing extraordinary miracles by Paul’s hands so that even facecloths or work aprons that had touched his skin were brought to the sick, and the diseases left them, and the evil spirits came out of them.

And this is where my story comes in. You see, I am a mere handkerchief that was touched by a mere man who was touched by a mighty God.I had the privilege of watching the transformation of a man, of seeing the miraculous released through his hands, and then one day, that miraculous power was transferred to me, and I was able to see and experience the power of Jesus first hand. I now understood what it was all about: the love and joy stirred in those that had been healed and set free; they finally knew the One who was and is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Crowned Project: Mattie D

THIS is Mattie D, also known as Matt Droguett - THE snowboarding, soccer playing, freestyle rapping, beatboxing, rattlesnake rounding, Canadian, who also loves Mexican food and wants ten kids. But on a serious note, this guy is the life of the party and truly loves Jesus and people. He is the extrovert of all extroverts, but the best part is, it’s never about him. Matt loves to run with people and do life with them simply because he loves them, which comes from his history with God.

His story with Jesus is basically that they’re amigos, BFFs, homies...well, you get the picture. Because of Matt’s deep connection with Jesus, he’s passionate about seeing others connect with Him too, and the best part is, he asks for nothing in return. Matt says, “The world says ‘I love you; do you love me?’ but I say, ‘I love you.’” Wow. Just wow. I mean, come on; we all know what it feels like when someone has an agenda for us and we know it. It doesn’t always feel great, because there’s an expectation that we have to reproduce or reciprocate or have something else to offer and we don’t always feel up to the challenge...or is that just me? I think others can join the group here. This is one thing I love about Matt - he loves without an agenda, which is the perfect example of Jesus. When we see Jesus in the Bible, He’s hanging out with all the people that the religious leaders of His time had looked upon as those not to be associated with, the untouchable, but Jesus came, said “I love you, let’s hang,” dined with them, AND THEN, instead of asking for something in return, He went a step further and gave all that He could - His life. I feel that it’s rare to meet people who will actually “lay down their life” for someone else. In a time where we can often appear to be focused on numero uno only loving those that are like us or agree with us, being able to love despite differences in beliefs, lifestyles, character, core values, political sides, career choices, parenting styles, etc. is HUGE.

So this is what Mattie D. offers to the world - Love without a catch; no agenda, no return, just love.

This is who I’ve chosen to highlight this week in hopes that you would catch his passion and be stirred with something you didn’t have before - a hope, a dream, a vision for love. 

He’s the cool, hippie model of the rastafarian-looking slouchy beanie for this week. If you want this beanie and to also help support both Matt and I financially through a suggested donation of $35, this beanie is yours! Simply comment on the ORIGINAL facebook post on MY facebook page. The first person to comment that they want it gets first dibs. I’ll connect with you from there on how you can make your donation. As a reminder, the donations are to just help out financially in my journey while here at BSSM, and 20% of the donation will go towards whoever is being highlighted each week to bless them as well; you will not just be sowing into our lives financially, but also our stories, testimonies and dreams. Thanks for the support and for hearing Matt’s story.

If you want to connect with Matt to hear more about his story, his passion for purity, bringing God into the “marketplace” and how he loves taking risks, find him on facebook - Matt Droguett.

PS. He also once caught a snapping turtle while fishing.

Crowned Project: Intro

So here's the thing...I've got this idea for a project, although that's not how it began, but I'd like to share this idea with you. I'll try to keep my usual long-windedness (Is that even a word?) to a minimum. I know, good luck, right?

Well, I'm at ministry school in California, I'm working part-time, and my bills are more than my income. No worries, God is good, everything will get taken care of, people are making donations...all is good in the world; HOWEVER, I believe God gives us creative ideas and resources as a means to bless us and others. So here is what has been stirring in me lately...

I really like to knit; I feel like an old lady as I say that, but it really is enjoyable. So I was thinking about something fairly easy, yet practical that I could make that people would actually want to buy while also supporting me in my journey. The outcome - beanies! Why not? They're cute, it's fall, and Christmas is around the corner; plus everyone here wears them all the time. I thought these would be a great idea that people could get for themselves or as gifts for others since it's the holiday season and also bless me in the process. And yes, the beanie in my picture is mine - handmade with love and everything!

However, from this point the idea sort of evolved into a project instead of a simple idea to help out a little financially. I actually want to be able to bless others (aside from myself and those that will receive the beanies) through this project, and here's what Jesus and I came up with; ok, fine, it was more His idea than mine. 

There are a lot of amazing people here pursuing their dreams, figuring out who they are, starting over or just starting out, but the truth is they each have a story to tell, a testimony to release, a dream to dream and something to offer to the world, and I want to highlight it. So what does that look like exactly? I'm glad you asked. This looks like me making a beanie, choosing someone I've met along the journey to share their story and "model" the beanie, and then bless them with 20% of the proceeds that come in from the purchase of the beanie.  

Logistics: I'm actually making this a donation-based project. There will be a suggested donation amount for each beanie (they will all be different) that will help to cover material costs, time, and shipping, if necessary, so please keep that in mind. 20% of the donation will go to whoever has been highlighted and whatever is left will go towards my financial needs at this time. It may not be much, but every little bit helps! And again, the donation amount is only suggested, so more or less can be given. The first person that comments on the original FACEBOOK post on my page will get dibs on donating and receiving the beanie for the week. I'll connect with the first person that comments and then direct them to a PayPal link that can be used for the donation, and as soon as it's processed that beanie will be on it's way.

Another aspect of this idea has come from a study of Psalm 103. I started reading this passage of Scripture a couple of months ago and couldn't get past the first few verses, because God was highlighting so much to me, and one part in particular is in verse four where is says, "[He] crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion." I began to think about a crown or being crowned and some things that came to mind were that it represents royalty, authority, government, a transference (of authority or power from one generation to the next), family/sonship, and covering. So here's where I'm going with that. A hat, or a beanie, will literally cover the crown of your head - the topmost part of your head and the first thing typically seen when you enter the world at birth. Before each beanie is sent out, it's worn by someone that has a story to share and a testimony to release, so if you want what they have, just receive it when you receive the beanie (or even if you don't get the beanie); also, each beanie will be prayed over and blessed so that it may bless whoever receives it. In the New Testament, people took clothes that had touched the Apostle Paul's body, and those who received the clothes were healed and set free (Acts 19:11-12)...who knows what God can use a simple beanie for? Maybe nothing, but maybe something. 

So this is the Crowned Project; you've been given the introduction, and the first person's story along with the first beanie to be offered is soon to come, so stay tuned!

Ready or Not

This one will be short-ish and sweet...or at least that's the plan. So each year at Bethel we have the opportunity to go on a mission trip. There were probably over 40 trips available, all of which will be overseen by amazing leaders, and as I was reading over the list and trip descriptions nothing really jumped out at me. I thought, Oh, Ireland would be cool; and the Iceland trips sounds like fun; or I'd love to go back to England just because I loved that trip during first year and their accents are the best! But nothing really grabbed my attention, if you know what I mean. That's probably because I already knew where I wanted to go and where I had felt the Lord drawing me to.

A couple of weeks prior to the mission trip applications opening up, we had a revival group party (our revival group or RG is like our family away from home; it's a group of about 60 people that we're connected with at school to do life and share with throughout the year). At the RG party, our RGP, or revival group pastor, Sara, had mentioned that one of the options for a mission trip would be an RG trip, and ours in particular was to Los Angeles. Ya'll, I drove through L.A. on the way here four years ago when I did first year...that place is crazy. I didn't really care to go back. My mom and I did the whole walking around the Chinese Theatre, seeing the Hollywood sign, etc. There was nothing during that time that said "Oooo, I'd LOVE to come back here one day!" Nevertheless, God is funny; hilarious actually.

Recently (within the past couple of years, and even more so since I've been here in California), I've felt a pull towards L.A. I really want to see people experience the love of God, and where better to do that than the City of Angels? I also feel like God has given me a heart for celebrities and those in the entertainment industries in general, and whether I ever actually meet anyone in that industry or simply pray for them from a distance, I have a chance to impact their city through loving it and praying over it while actually being in it!

I'm sure you've guessed it by now - the L.A. trip was my first choice; it wasn't even a question when the applications came out really, because as Sara spoke about this trip during our RG party, I knew that this was where I wanted to be and felt like God wanted to do something in and through me there. So here's the proof:
I've officially been accepted to the L.A. trip in March, and I'd love for you to partner with me. The total trip cost is $600 with the first deposit of $200 due by Dec. 5th. If you'd like to sow into this trip financially, you can copy and paste the link at the end of this post in your browser and continue from there.

Just as important as financial support is prayer support. I really want to make the most and get the most out of this trip. I want to grow in loving people and serving a city. I'd like you to partner with me in prayer specifically for taking risks (stepping out of my comfort zone), loving people intentionally, divine appointments/connections, and expecting miraculous things to happen as our team is directed by Holy Spirit.

While I wasn't ever planning on going back to L.A. for any amount of time, ready or not, here I come!

FINANCIAL SUPPORT LINK: https://trips.ibethel.org/transactions/new/16498
*Be sure you see my first and last name on the donation page before submitting your donation

Because I asked...

So we've recently been assigned our next reading for homework, which is Bill Johnson's newest book, "God is Good." I'm sure many of us have heard the saying "God is good," to which we respond "all the time," and vice versa. The question is, do we really believe that He is good all the time -  always, now and forevermore, past, present and future, in all circumstances, when we experience His goodness and when we don't seem to experience it? Do we say He's good because that's what Christians do? Or do we say it because we think He's good for the most part, yet in the back of our mind we're questioning it? Or do we say He's good and believe it on a conscious level but not in our subconscious? How in the world would we even know if we believe that in our subconscious anyway? It's our subconscious for crying out loud - you know, the part that's not conscious. 

Well, I think we can say God is good and believe it, but our responses/reactions to various situations will determine whether we actually believe it in our subconscious. When we get in a tight spot or a tough situation, our emotions will probably reveal whether we believe the statement "God is good" and whether or not we believe it with every part of our brain/thinking. Because if He's good, then we'll trust Him with every area of our life (and others' lives for that matter) - every up and down, the good and bad, and sometimes the ugly - and we'll be at peace. The angels, in their introduction of Jesus's birth, announced, "...peace on earth and goodwill towards men" (Luke 2:14). Bill states in his book that "this decree revealed God's heart more clearly than ever before" as "it redefined God's intent for humanity." So, if we actually believe that God is good, then surely we will live in what the Bible says that He has given us - peace and [His] goodwill or kindly intent. 

Anyway, that was just a little tidbit of info and really just my thoughts, so feel free to agree or disagree. I'm only in the second chapter of the book, so this is definitely not a book report or review of any kind whatsoever, nor am I an expert on this topic; I just needed something to introduce my testimony from today :) 

So here's why I'm really writing; this morning as I was getting ready for church, a good friend of mine was texting me pictures of various jackets she was trying on in the store - this is how long-distance shopping is done people - to which I would respond  with a "yes," or "oh, I like that one," or "eh, I like the first one better," in between throwing my pants on and brushing my teeth...you know, those important things when getting ready for church or being in public in general.  Well, when we were pretty much finished with our conversation/shopping she sent me a text and was like "hey, you know that money you've been putting back for me?" (I guess I should preface that with the fact that she had given me some money a few months ago to put back for something she was saving up for - you know, there are some people who are really great savers, and then there are those of us like my friend and I that need it to be out of reach so we don't spend it.) She continued with "I want you to use that money toward groceries."  

Why did I start crying at this point? Well, let me tell you. What my friend didn't know was that I had LITERALLY just asked the Lord (like one or two minutes prior), "Lord, would you give me some grocery money today?" as I looked in my fridge and cabinet at the bleak appearance of what meals would look like this week. I could do nothing but sit in the fact that God actually is good; that He listens; that when we ask, we actually receive. I'm sure some would say, "Oh, that's just a coincidence." Well, it may have been for you, but for me, it was a conscious choice to contribute this "coincidence" to the goodness of God - sometimes things are too random NOT to be God, and if we posture our hearts to believe He is good and thank Him for the things that may seem random, then we'll be more aware of Him when He actually is doing things. Just a thought anyway. 

I was seriously blown away by God's goodness and faithfulness through my friend's generosity, which didn't seem like much to her, but it was huge for me, not because of the amount, but because of the revelation that what I ask actually matters to the God of the universe, and that my words are actually really powerful. Sure, I could have just transferred over some money from my savings to get groceries for the week, but instead I asked Papa God if he would give me some grocery money. If I asked God for grocery money and He gave it to me, what else is He waiting for me to ask Him for? What other areas in my life is He waiting for me to partner with Him in? Ephesians 3:20 says "[He] is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think..." I mean, have you ever imagined or dreamed up your best life possible? If there were no limitations, what would you imagine your perfect life being like? Guess what, it doesn't even come close to whatever your heavenly Daddy has thought up for you. He's a good daddy - we already have access to all that's His; I think He's waiting for us to start dreaming bigger and asking Him for  the crazy, impossible things - I asked for grocery money; what will happen when I ask Him (and believe) to use me to rock my city or nation with His goodness? 

The Giver...Oh wait, that's already a title.

Ok, as a language arts teacher, I just couldn't resist the title. Show grace for my inner nerd! Now let's get "spiritual" - kind of.

"I just LOVE asking people for money and giving them the opportunity to bless me financially..." said no one ever. Well, there may actually be people that like doing that, but I have a hard time with that. As a short-term missionary for two years, and then going off to ministry school and still needing financial support for a third year, I have a really hard time asking people for money, because that's all that I felt like I was doing - simply asking people for money. What's funny about that is I actually love getting gifts and surprises, so why is it so hard to ask for or receive money from people in the form of financial support? The Lord has been bringing up a lot of questions lately that have me questioning the way I think about...well, just about everything. So here's what I've learned about the whole giving/receiving thing recently:

As someone who has always struggled with money (working for it, managing it, receiving it, etc.) I've recently come into a place where I actually have it and know how to better manage it thanks to Jake Strickland and Paul Walker who so amazingly blessed our church by teaching Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University the year that I got back from school of ministry. This completely changed my world and gave me a drive to get of out debt so that I could start giving to others at a greater level. The Lord provided work for me during this time so that I would have a steady income to start working towards my goal and dream of being debt free and in a place to give abundantly to those in need, and while I still have some areas to work on, three years later I'm still using my budgeting tools and managing my money like I never have! I even have a small amount of savings (and I mean small), which is a miracle in and of itself! 

Most of you who know me know that I've recently returned to California to complete my second year of ministry  school, and you have already blessed me tremendously with your love and support. Before I left home, I wasn't going to ask anyone for money. I worked hard and used savings to pay most of my tuition and to cover initial housing/living costs since I wouldn't have a roommate for about a month or so when I got out here, and it's a decent chunk of change for deposits and rent! Luckily I have amazing people in my life who love me enough to bless me anyways when I'm too stubborn to ask for help. My parents are seriously the best and most generous people I know, and helped tremendously on the drive, that's right, the DRIVE out. We drove two vehicles across the country, and they put up with me for 2-3 weeks, slept on crappy beds and air mattresses, and went on mini sight-seeing adventures just because they love me. The only difference is that they had to drive back across the country. Yes, there's no denying that they're amazing! Next, there is my home church family who ridiculously loves and blesses me anyway, but they went above and beyond to bless me financially, cover me in prayer, and shower me with love leading up to my departure. And last, but surely not least, are the friends and family who have donated in various ways. You are all amazing!

I've already been blessed so much, which almost makes it harder to even ask for money at this point. My thinking is (as I'm sure many others would be): I've already been blessed so much, I'm working and actually have a job, and God has provided in many different ways already; how can I ask for such generosity to be extended from those I love? That actually sounds really nice and spiritual, but when we often get to the underlying ways that we think it sounds more like this: What if people think I'm lazy or not working enough, or they think I should have just been responsible and kept a good job while I had one, or maybe I'm just not worth giving to, so I shouldn't even ask. 

Let's just be real. When we analyze our thought processes, a lot of them don't line up with what Jesus says or thinks about us at all, and I love that Bill Johnson says, "I can't afford to have a thought in my head that's not in His." So this is just one of those thought processes that I've been dealing with lately and God is showing me that there's more to giving than just me asking and receiving; it's also about the giver. 

I've had opportunities recently to bless different people in small ways, and in seeing their happiness and thankfulness I was blessed beyond measure and in those moments I felt like the Lord said: "Do you see how amazing it feels to bless these people? How do you think I feel when I can bless you? How do you think those who love you feel when they get to bless you?"

And ya'll, all I can say is He totally "got" me with this. I just hadn't really thought about how much of a blessing it can be to give when you're really giving out of the generosity of your heart for those you love. Before I left, I had a friend, who's more like a father, tell me, "Don't you dare rob me of an opportunity to bless you! If you need ANYTHING you better let me know." And it's almost one of those things to which you say "yeah, yeah," but now I actually get it. This friend really meant what he said, and in light of recent events I now understand the joy it can be to bless others whether in small or big ways, and sometimes it may seem small, but it can be huge for the person you're blessing. 

All that to say, here's where I am: I am currently working, and my sole purpose in coming out here two months before school started was to get a job so I could get on top of my finances and "not struggle." I'm pretty sure God laughed at that too...as I'm sure He does with the way we think about many things. Well, I was getting decent work hours before school started, but my flexibility has been limited since school has begun, and as I'm budgeting and doing those things I know to do I'm also realizing it's not quite enough. I'm completely trusting the Lord to be my Provider. I literally told Him the other day that He was the "man of the house" and He needed to take care of the electric bill and rent. As children of God we have access to the resources of heaven...hello, this is unlimited resources! And while I know He WILL provide (it's no longer a matter of "if" or "what if"), I also realize there are people who love me and want to sow into my life and partner with what God is doing. And sometimes we just need an opportunity to be generous with what we do have simply for the sake of experiencing the joy of giving so that we receive a greater revelation of how the Father feels when we allow Him to provide for our needs and give to us, which is what He did for me recently. 

So here are some ways you can sow into my life financially for those that feel this is what you really want to do or you think the Lord is asking you to do:

1. You can give on a monthly basis or through a one-time donation through PayPal by selecting the "click here to make a donation" option at the top left side of my blog (under my profile picture), which will take you directly to a PayPal link where you can send money through your own PayPal account, by debit/credit, or by a checking account, or you can send a check/money order if you prefer (email me for the address: m.d.henderson8@gmail.com). These gifts are not tax-deductible, so if you wish to give in a different way that is tax-deductible continue reading :)
2. You can also sow into my time here at Bethel by donating towards my ministry and/or mission trip opportunities, which are tax-deductible. One thing that I'm able to do as a second year student is go on ministry trips throughout the year with various leaders from the church on top of the option to go on a mission trip at the end of the year. The great thing about the ministry trips is that I can go on as many as possible (dependent upon finances and work schedule) throughout the year, and I will be part of each leader's ministry team where I can grow in my gifts, talents and leadership, and also learn from the different leaders, which can open up amazing doors/opportunities while here. To give this way, simply follow the directions below:

• Select or copy/paste the following link: https://trips.ibethel.org/transactions/new/16140
• This should be a direct link to my travel fund account through Bethel, so make sure you see my name displayed on the page
• From there you will fill out basic information and click "next"
• You will then type in your payment information and click "submit"

I thank the Lord for the opportunities He gives me to give and receive, because they both keep me humble and teach me more about His nature. He's a good God who also likes to give and receive; and us, being created in His image, should be the same. Thank you to all of you who love and support me no matter what that looks like; just the fact that you're reading this and thinking about me is enough! I declare your thoughts, love, prayers, and finances all seeds to be sewn and harvested with much return! 

That time when Holy Spirit totally ambushed me...

My first "note" to update friends and family. Well, clearly I've made it back to California, which has been really amazing; I've seen family, I've been to Portland ("Keep Portland Weird" - and it definitely was), I got my parents to hike...on a mountain trail that was much longer and more difficult than expected, I also got them to go rafting ("You won't get wet," she said...as we're soaked within the first few minutes), I've been able to reconnect with some old friends and connect with new ones, both of which have made my heart full, and now I'm finally registered for my second year at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Jesus really does love me; even before I got here He had it all planned out, but I'll just hit the highlights for now.

Before I came back to Bethel and California I was believing the Lord for some specific things: 

• My car debt to be paid in full before I left Georgia
• My tuition to be paid in full before I left Georgia
• My housing to be situated by the time I got to California
• My job situation to be secured by the time I got to California
• Divine appointments and connections while here
• God moments that define my future

Well, everything on that list hasn't happened, and some things have, just not in the timing that I planned, but that doesn't change God's faithfulness. My tuition was paid in full before school started, my housing was lined up before I came, God totally opened up the right job for me within 2-3 weeks of being here, but the time before I began working was not wasted. I enjoyed some much needed quality time with my Jesus where He showed me that He was the "man of the house" and that He would take care of me during this time completely and totally providing in every way, which broke fear off of me that I've been battling for years. Those of you close to me (and now whoever reads this) know that I don't like to be alone at night; therefore, I sleep on the couch to feel safe. Go ahead, it's ok to laugh. I literally slept on the couch for my first 2-3 weeks here after my parents left when I had a perfectly good bed upstairs. Anyway, I think Jesus was like, "Ok, we need to get past this." So I gave Him my fear and He totally took care of it! Yay for sleeping in my bed!

Moving on to divine appointments/connections; I've already met people that I feel are lifetime friends and through them I've met even more people that I feel will be significant at some point on my journey this season, and I'm so excited for what God has in store!

So far that's four things on my list. And then there's that time when Holy Spirit totally ambushed me in which I would put in the category of "God moments that define my future," which of course, I'm expecting much more of as the year goes along.

So one of my new friends, a fellow Southerner who literally grew up about two hours from my hometown, is also a second year student at BSSM, and is now someone I would consider one of those "friends for life" told me about an event that was being hosted for second year students. My introvert immediately responded...ok screamed...with "Noooooo, there will definitely be too many people there for comfort. Actually, the fact that there will be people there at all is too much. Let's just stay in and be fine in our happy place where awkwardness and social interaction are at a minimal, and I don't have to take any risks." On the other hand, I had recently been challenged by my pastor to "get out" and meet new people, which he and I both knew was supposed to be part of my journey this season, so of course I had his voice ringing in the back of my mind, and knew I had to go even if just for a short time. If it got too bad, and by "bad" I mean too much for my introvert, I could always use the excuse that I had to get up early for work, which was actually true. Four a.m. was coming early! 

God loves to get us out of our comfort zones...don't you just hate that? 

Long story short, I end up going just expecting to meet maybe a couple of people and at the least just get out of the house for the sake of getting out of my comfort zone. This is the part where I'm pretty sure Papa God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit looked at each other and laughed. It ended up being a smaller group of maybe 15 people and we started off with a little worship at the lake. Then it moved to some prayer where Holy Spirit started to move and people were "getting crazy" - you know, the ones who shake and fall on the ground, and laugh and you take a step back and say, "You go ahead and enjoy that, I'm just gonna stay back here and worship in my own little happy place, you know, my island with just me and Jesus." And then God laughs again, and you realize you've been targeted. Things didn't get "crazy" for me, but I'm pretty sure Holy Spirit used almost every person there to just pour into me, and speak words of life and encouragement over me and release safety and love that I've never felt in a "new" place before, and I just cried...in front of these strangers...and then I cried some more, and at some point realized I had to stop worrying about my mascara because there was probably none left. I was like "Really, God? You know I don't like crying, much less crying in front of strangers." And I'm pretty sure He kind of laughed and said "I know." And then He sent someone else to do more damage...to my pride. So crying in front of strangers was in itself a breakthrough for me, but in that time I just felt like God was saying "I'm going to show you love like you've never known it before, not just from Me, but from people," which is really significant because many of us walk around with rejection and wounds whether we realize it or not, and it can become hard to feel safe being completely ourselves around others, especially new people in new seasons, but it's important to have that in our lives so we're not an island that's only dependent on God, but instead that we're a community being interdependent on each other as we go after God together. 

Ok, that long story made short was actually long, but it was shorter than originally planned, so be thankful. All that to say, God can totally ambush us with good surprises that encourage our hearts in the moments we least expect it, so whoever needs that as a testimony just take hold of it and wait expectantly on the One Who loves to surprise you.