That time when Holy Spirit totally ambushed me...

My first "note" to update friends and family. Well, clearly I've made it back to California, which has been really amazing; I've seen family, I've been to Portland ("Keep Portland Weird" - and it definitely was), I got my parents to hike...on a mountain trail that was much longer and more difficult than expected, I also got them to go rafting ("You won't get wet," she said...as we're soaked within the first few minutes), I've been able to reconnect with some old friends and connect with new ones, both of which have made my heart full, and now I'm finally registered for my second year at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Jesus really does love me; even before I got here He had it all planned out, but I'll just hit the highlights for now.

Before I came back to Bethel and California I was believing the Lord for some specific things: 

• My car debt to be paid in full before I left Georgia
• My tuition to be paid in full before I left Georgia
• My housing to be situated by the time I got to California
• My job situation to be secured by the time I got to California
• Divine appointments and connections while here
• God moments that define my future

Well, everything on that list hasn't happened, and some things have, just not in the timing that I planned, but that doesn't change God's faithfulness. My tuition was paid in full before school started, my housing was lined up before I came, God totally opened up the right job for me within 2-3 weeks of being here, but the time before I began working was not wasted. I enjoyed some much needed quality time with my Jesus where He showed me that He was the "man of the house" and that He would take care of me during this time completely and totally providing in every way, which broke fear off of me that I've been battling for years. Those of you close to me (and now whoever reads this) know that I don't like to be alone at night; therefore, I sleep on the couch to feel safe. Go ahead, it's ok to laugh. I literally slept on the couch for my first 2-3 weeks here after my parents left when I had a perfectly good bed upstairs. Anyway, I think Jesus was like, "Ok, we need to get past this." So I gave Him my fear and He totally took care of it! Yay for sleeping in my bed!

Moving on to divine appointments/connections; I've already met people that I feel are lifetime friends and through them I've met even more people that I feel will be significant at some point on my journey this season, and I'm so excited for what God has in store!

So far that's four things on my list. And then there's that time when Holy Spirit totally ambushed me in which I would put in the category of "God moments that define my future," which of course, I'm expecting much more of as the year goes along.

So one of my new friends, a fellow Southerner who literally grew up about two hours from my hometown, is also a second year student at BSSM, and is now someone I would consider one of those "friends for life" told me about an event that was being hosted for second year students. My introvert immediately responded...ok screamed...with "Noooooo, there will definitely be too many people there for comfort. Actually, the fact that there will be people there at all is too much. Let's just stay in and be fine in our happy place where awkwardness and social interaction are at a minimal, and I don't have to take any risks." On the other hand, I had recently been challenged by my pastor to "get out" and meet new people, which he and I both knew was supposed to be part of my journey this season, so of course I had his voice ringing in the back of my mind, and knew I had to go even if just for a short time. If it got too bad, and by "bad" I mean too much for my introvert, I could always use the excuse that I had to get up early for work, which was actually true. Four a.m. was coming early! 

God loves to get us out of our comfort zones...don't you just hate that? 

Long story short, I end up going just expecting to meet maybe a couple of people and at the least just get out of the house for the sake of getting out of my comfort zone. This is the part where I'm pretty sure Papa God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit looked at each other and laughed. It ended up being a smaller group of maybe 15 people and we started off with a little worship at the lake. Then it moved to some prayer where Holy Spirit started to move and people were "getting crazy" - you know, the ones who shake and fall on the ground, and laugh and you take a step back and say, "You go ahead and enjoy that, I'm just gonna stay back here and worship in my own little happy place, you know, my island with just me and Jesus." And then God laughs again, and you realize you've been targeted. Things didn't get "crazy" for me, but I'm pretty sure Holy Spirit used almost every person there to just pour into me, and speak words of life and encouragement over me and release safety and love that I've never felt in a "new" place before, and I just cried...in front of these strangers...and then I cried some more, and at some point realized I had to stop worrying about my mascara because there was probably none left. I was like "Really, God? You know I don't like crying, much less crying in front of strangers." And I'm pretty sure He kind of laughed and said "I know." And then He sent someone else to do more damage...to my pride. So crying in front of strangers was in itself a breakthrough for me, but in that time I just felt like God was saying "I'm going to show you love like you've never known it before, not just from Me, but from people," which is really significant because many of us walk around with rejection and wounds whether we realize it or not, and it can become hard to feel safe being completely ourselves around others, especially new people in new seasons, but it's important to have that in our lives so we're not an island that's only dependent on God, but instead that we're a community being interdependent on each other as we go after God together. 

Ok, that long story made short was actually long, but it was shorter than originally planned, so be thankful. All that to say, God can totally ambush us with good surprises that encourage our hearts in the moments we least expect it, so whoever needs that as a testimony just take hold of it and wait expectantly on the One Who loves to surprise you. 

What's your history?

Eric Johnson shared a story about a friend of his who worked in the timber industry. He spoke of thin-cutting – a technique used by timber companies where they go into the woods and cut down, or thin out, a few trees. When they return after some time, several other trees will have fallen on their own.  Ok, sounds boring, but let’s get to the good part…the WHY. Why do these other trees fall down on their own? Maybe you already know the answer, but I had never heard of this before and it totally rocked me!

THE WHY
The trees that are in the center of the woods are never forced to put a root system down, because they’re protected by the other trees; so when you thin out the trees that have been that barrier the trees in the middle fall down easily with the first storm because it has no root system.

“We have to build OUR history with God in the secret place before we can in the corporate setting” (E. Johnson).  

Point 1: If we want to build a history with God corporately and see God do amazing things in our church, then we have to work at our personal relationship with Him when no one else is watching. Yeah, relationships are work...in case you haven't noticed. We have to pursue connection with the One who created us, which shouldn't be very hard since He pursued us first.

Point 2: Many people come to church hoping to GET something, but they don’t really have anything to GIVE back to the Body of Christ because they’re not building their own history with God; they’re relying on leadership and the rest of the body (who also have to build their own histories with God) for strength and nourishment. Don't get me wrong, we do get strength and nourishment from the church, but our main/daily source is God - His presence and His word. The truth is the church isn’t just a place to receive. It’s something to be a part of! It's a family!

If you want to see your church body rocked, then you have to let God rock you in the secret place. It’s a daily pressing in, a daily commitment to worship, a daily decision to choose Him. This is where we grow our root system, where we build our history with God, and where we become part of HIS story by adding to the Body of Christ. Are we building our histories with God? Are our root systems going deep in the secret place so they can go deep in the corporate setting? What's YOUR history?

What's in Front of You?

On speaking about “Hearing from God,” Jenn Johnson said, “Be faithful where you’re planted; build what’s in front of you.” OK, so what does being faithful have to do with hearing from God?  There are times God may ask you to do something crazy; maybe you’re at the grocery store and God says, “Go pray for that person down the aisle.” Then you begin to rationalize thinking that is probably just my mind making up crazy ideas; why would God ask me to do something so extreme and out of my comfort zone?  Or maybe God asks you to give the only $2 in your wallet to the homeless person on the corner. And again you begin to think that’s probably just my mind again. What can anyone do with $2? They probably won’t use it for anything good anyway. So maybe it wasn’t God. Maybe it was just your mind. Wouldn’t you rather have done it and it not been “from God,” than have missed an opportunity for obedience?

“There shouldn’t be a thought process between when God speaks and when we obey. When we obey, we don’t know what kind of chain reaction we’re starting.” (Jenn J.).  So let’s get to my real point. Maybe God hasn’t called you to do something so extreme and out of your comfort zone. Maybe He’s called you to “build what’s in front of you.” Maybe He’s told you to take your kid on a date night once a week, or have a family night, or take cookies to your neighbor or help your parents out around the house, or send a kind note to a co-worker. What are the everyday things that God has put right in front of you to build and be faithful in during this season?

I don’t think God asks us to do things just to see if we’ll be obedient, although that's part of it, but I think He asks us to do things to help build our faith, to build our character, so that we may grow and thrive as powerful people. Banning Liebscher has a great message about building what’s in front of you that he preaches on from Nehemiah.  He mentions that this is part of our process – building what’s in front of us. If God gave us everything we wanted before we went through a process it would probably kill us because we wouldn’t be prepared to handle the weight of a vision without character.  Banning says to “embrace the season and do it well [so] people will find you thriving in every part of the journey.” 

So what has God asked you to do? What are you called to build that is right in front of you? DO IT WELL! You never know what kind of chain reaction your small act of faithfulness/obedience will start.

 

Give it up!

Have you ever been around someone who is stressed ALL the time and found yourself becoming stressed or uptight when you’re around them? Or have you been around someone who is full of joy and found yourself feeling really happy and joyful? That’s because we all give off what we carry, whether it’s stress, frustrations, joy or peace. Kris Vallotton says, “You’ll always create the environment within you around you.” Whaaaaat?  Yeah, take that in for a minute. Whatever we are carrying around inside of us, whatever we’re allowing our minds to think about, whatever we’re holding in hearts will be released in the environment around us and everywhere we go.

We can have a huge impact on the environment around us (for better or worse) whether it’s at work, at home, at the grocery store, etc.  YOU LEAK! So what are you leaking right now? Are you leaking more stress and anxiety into a stressful situation or are you leaking love and peace? Are you leaking negativity into an already dark place or are you leaking hope and joy? Don’t let your junk leak on everyone else. Let Holy Spirit bring your junk to the surface and then leave it at the foot of the Cross.  There’s an alternative gift that Holy Spirit wants to give you for every negative thing you lay down to Him (ie. If you leave stress, you pick up the gift of peace). So give it up! Give up your junk and take a better gift! Gifts are always good…AND they’re free!

Someone told me today that I have a lot of tolerance; that’s because I’ve walked it out. I carry peace because I have chosen peace over stress when stressful situations come up. I’ve chosen peace when everything around me is turmoil. And in the place I’m at right now, I’m gaining even more tolerance because I’m choosing peace and patience in each situation that threatens my peace and patience.  I'm not saying I've "arrived," but I'm definitely moving forward in the process. Whatever difficult situation you’re facing, choose the opposite. Do it daily. Do it in every situation. Choose hope; choose love; choose joy; chose honor; choose peace. It starts with a choice. If you want to release it into the environment around you, you have to walk it out to get it within you first, and I guarantee it’ll be better than anything you give up!

HE is the goal

I think sometimes we get in the routine of home, work, school, church, etc. and at some point we think, “What the heck am I working towards?” “What is my goal here?” “What’s the point?” We can get dragged down in the every day, natural stuff that is our lives and we miss the ultimate goal of why we do what we do.

As a worship leader I can come in with a great band and an awesome set list and have an explosive time of worship, but if God isn't the goal, if His presence isn’t the goal, I’ve missed it totally. As a teacher I can get caught up in the routine of the class schedule, dealing with the “difficult” kid, and just try to make it through another day/week/month, but if God isn’t the goal in my classroom and in the experience I bring to it, then I’ve missed the goal.

Working in a classroom this week has shown me that a lot of times (in any job really) our mindset is often to survive and get through the week. “It’ll be worth it when the paycheck comes.” Right? When the truth is, if our goal and the way we think doesn’t change, it will never really be worth the paycheck because we will simply be surviving instead of thriving like we were created to do.

My personal goal this week is to do a little less complaining, a little more encouraging, and see what happens when I invite God’s presence into every situation. What would my week look like if HE was the goal? Everything we do is an opportunity to partner with the Holy Spirit and invite the presence of God into our lives. How would that change the way we look at housework, going to church, or working the same nine to five job until retirement?

One of my favorite verses, Romans 11:36 says, “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.” It is all about Him. Jenn Johnson said, “We are called to cast a vision of who God is and who we are in Him.” What would our week look like if we actually did this?

He is always the goal!

It is NOT about you...or me

I actually typed this blog a couple days ago and the funny thing is that I’ve struggled more with all of this in the last two days than I did before I typed it…interesting how that works out.  Gotta walk it out if I want to give it out!

One thing Jenn Johnson said during a class on leading worship was that “it is not about you!” As a worship leader (or any type of leader) it is NOT ABOUT YOU. It's about who you're leading and who/what you're leading them to. As parents do we lead our kids towards empowerment, giving them choices and opportunities to clean up their messes or do we lead them towards powerlessness where they feel they have no choice or power to change their lives? As business leaders, do we lead our co-workers in honor and excellence or half-heartedness and a mentality that says, “I'm only here for a paycheck?” As worship leaders, are we leading the church into an encounter with the One who it's all about, or are we simply leading people in a great musical chorus with all the bells and whistles?

I've realized to take on the roles God has set before me that my focus cannot be ME. Although I need to be the best “me” I can be and take care of myself in order to lead well, I have to remember that everything is first and foremost about leading others into an encounter with God and His Kingdom, which obviously looks different from the church to the workplace, but it's still possible. Next, it's about loving the people I'm leading. If I don't love people, then I'm not going to value them enough to lead them anywhere.

When my focus changes to myself, I've noticed I tend to get anxious and feel that I don't have what it takes to do the tasks at hand. I'm sure many of you know that anxiety and insecurity aren't really the best examples to lead with. However, when I change my focus and turn my attention towards Daddy God and the people that He loves, my whole attitude changes. I realize my “love for God and people will supersede my gift/talent/abilities, even on bad days” (Martin Smith) and also that the omni-presence of God is an opportunity to invite Him into any and every situation that comes up while I'm leading. It's an opportunity to show others His character and nature by showing them His Kingdom values in the way I act, respond, speak, etc. When the focus is on ourselves we can feel insecure really quick, but when it's on the One who is perfect and all-powerful, we can feel empowered for the task at hand. It really just takes all the pressure off; our thinking shifts from “I have to perform in order to lead well” to “I really just need to love God and love people well.”

Live well, love well, lead well.

Let Process Begin!

So I’m on this little journey called “life” – maybe you’ve heard of it – and I know there are specific things God is speaking to me (and you) right now; the question is, “What the heck are they?!” So maybe I don’t know everything He’s speaking right now, but I can start with what I do know – Worship.

I’ve been on a journey with music my whole life from singing “The B.I.B.L.E” at church as a kid, to singing loud the boy-crazy, heart-break songs with my girlfriends in middle/high school, to going goo goo eyed for the guy that plays the guitar in college, to stepping into my own role in music with playing and singing. I’ve had this passion for singing, for making music, for bringing my own song to the Lord, and I’ve always thought that was my worship to God, my calling. But over the last year or so  I’ve realized that making music isn’t really my act of worship at all…it’s the overflow OF my worship.

Recently I attended Bethel School of Worship in Redding, CA, which was an amazing opportunity and I got SO MUCH out of it. The problem is trying to process everything I got from school! So here’s my challenge to myself (and I’m inviting you to keep me accountable): I figure the best way for me to process all the information and revelation I received at school is for me to take one or two pages of my notes and look over them each week… and then look over them again and again until Holy Spirit shows me every aspect that He wants me to see from them. So to keep myself accountable, I’m going to blog about what I process each week. My goal is to take in every aspect of what I’ve received, learn to walk it out really well over the next year, and share my process with everyone around me. We’ll see how this goes.

So here’s what I’ve been chewing on this week from my notes:

Worship doesn’t have anything to do with music; music is just one way to express what we experience every day in relationship with God, which is where real worship begins – in the everyday. It’s being a good “me.” It’s waking up every day and saying, “I choose You, Lord.” It’s about responding in love instead of reacting out of anger, fear, or stress. It’s choosing to worship the Lord, to serve Him in literally every detail of our lives. “Yes, Lord, I’ll worship you in taking out the trash that’s overflowing that everyone else has walked by. Yes, Lord, I’ll worship you in doing the dishes after I’ve worked all day, come home and cooked, and tucked the kids into bed. Yes, Lord, I’ll worship you by choosing to love this person that just cocked an attitude with me in the grocery line. Yes, Lord, I’ll worship you in playing UNO ten times in a row with the kids. Yes, Lord, I’ll worship you in loving my spouse when their actions are on the verge of driving me nuts. Yes, Lord, I'll worship you by honoring my boss who's acting like a tool...again! I CHOOSE YOU, LORD.”

I think when we choose to say “yes” to Him in the small things, we will become the best we can possibly be, because the Perfect One will be involved in every aspect of our lives. You know that one friend you hang out with all the time whose mannerisms and sayings you take on? Same goes for when we hang out with God and invite Him into every part of our lives. When we choose to say “yes” to Him in the daily things it becomes natural to be who God has called us to be, to love well, to respond instead of react, to live a life of worship pleasing to the Father. Becoming the best “me” and the best "you" is part of our worship that will overflow into our musical worship and invite others into the presence of God. What would it look like if you were the best "you" you could be and how would that impact those in your sphere of influence?

OK, so all of that came from only one bullet in my notes (and there are pages of them) and this is only a tiny portion of what worship looks like in our lives! This may be a longer process than I thought, but I think I’m up for the challenge!