I Believe in You

“I believe in you.”

These are words that wrecked me in a coffee shop the other day - literally crying in the coffee shop. Oh yes, you’ll definitely get to hear this story as you read on. But before that, here’s the question for you: when is the last time you felt believed in? (Notice that I didn’t say you were believed in but felt believed in.)

I didn’t realize how important or needed this idea of being believed in was until now. Why do we need to be believed in? What does that even mean - to be believed in? Well, let’s start with the basics. (Warning: teacher/nerd alert.) When I looked up the etymology of the verb “believe” and the noun “belief,” here is what I found:

• “believe” comes from an Old English word meaning “‘to have faith or confidence’ (in a person) [or] perhaps literally ‘hold dear...to love.’”
• “belief” (around the 12th century) referred to “confidence reposed in a person or thing; faith in a religion.” (etymonline.com)

I think we typically associate the words “believe” or “belief” with religion and core values, and I mean, that makes sense, right? Our beliefs are often based on or shaped by that thing or being with which we believe in, hold dear, love or have confidence in. But what about when it comes to family, friends and community? I’m not saying our whole belief or faith should be in those things. Family, friends and community cannot replace my relationship, faith in, love for, or confidence in Jesus. What I AM saying is that I think it is necessary to know that someone has confidence in us, especially when we’re navigating through new waters in our lives. We may have confidence in the Lord, but at times we need to be reminded that we are capable of doing or exploring the things He has called us to, and that at times requires someone to believe in us, to have confidence in us, or to love us in order to ignite courage in our hearts.

Ok, here is what you really want to hear - the coffee shop story of me bursting into tears...and yes, people definitely saw me. Did I care? Not really. I’m sure it was quite the sight, and it makes for a good story, which is all that really matters. So I’m meeting with my friend, Sam, to talk about blog stuff. As we’re chatting about the blog, my process, creativity and all the things, we both pause for a moment, and then he asks, “What’s going on in your heart right now?” For some reason this caught me a little off guard, because even though something was stirring inside my heart and I could feel the tears beginning to form, I actually wasn’t sure what was going on in my heart at that moment. Before I could actually think about what was happening in my heart, my friend looks me straight in the eyes and says, “Melody, I believe in you.” And there they are. The ever faithful tears that begin to roll down my pinchable, freckled cheeks. I hid my face for a second and then looked up. And he said it again! “I believe in you.” I mean, really? How much do you actually want me to cry in public right now?

Here are a few things I realized as I drove home from this meeting...still crying and trying to figure out why it hit me so hard.

1. As someone who is usually the champion of others, I didn’t realize that I also needed to be championed.
2. While I know there are people who have championed me my whole life, there are times (for whatever reason) that it needs to be a specific person who champions you in a specific thing you’re pursuing.
3. It is one thing to feel believed in when you get it right; it’s an entirely different thing to feel believed in when you feel like you can’t get it right, when you’re failing or when you feel crazy.
4. There is a huge difference in feeling supported in the things at which we appear naturally good or that seem socially or culturally acceptable versus feeling believed in when you’re pursuing something that is in your heart but feels completely out of the box.

I think there are many who have felt believed in when they have gotten it right but on the flip side have also felt the disappointment of others (or even themselves) when they haven’t gotten it right, which attaches being “believed in” to what we do versus who we are - the perfect incubator for a performance-driven culture (internally and externally). This is a place where we can never measure up, because everything is dependent upon what we do instead of who we are, and someone will always be better at “doing” something than we are.

And here is what I have to say about that:

To the mom or dad who feels like they never got it right and live with regret - I believe in you.

To the creative artist pursuing their dreams but bussing tables - I believe in you.

To the newly divorced who feels like they failed at marriage - I believe in you.

To the visionary who feels out of place because they think and see everything differently - I believe in you.

To the one who never pursued anything for fear of failure or rejection - I believe in you.

To the one who is going after their dreams and either failing miserably or killing it - I believe in you.

To anyone who needs it, I believe in you...no, really. I believe in you. Seriously, I believe in you. YOU are worth believing in - not your choices, not your past, not your present circumstances, but YOU are worth believing in.

#worthit