Permission to Grieve

Just a few of the people and moments in my story

Well, this is my first post since the dust has settled: graduation has come and gone, mom has visited and headed back home, friends that I've done life with over the last year have traveled back home (many of which are halfway across the world), and my to-do list now mainly consists of work. So what now? I actually found myself tearing up at this question: So what now? Isn't it funny how you work so hard for something or are in a certain season in your life and when the season ends or you reach your goal, you don't really know what to do, so you ask yourself, "So what now?" I believe that this question is actually meant to instill hope and expectancy and the following has been my experience over the last several months.

Now, I give my heart permission to grieve and mourn the end of an amazing season in my life - the close of a beautiful chapter in my story and history with the Lord that introduced many new characters, scenes, conflicts and triumphs.

Over the last several months, I've realized the importance of grieving, and I think the main thing that comes to mind when I think about grieving or mourning is the loss of a loved one, but the Lord has shown me the importance of this process even in seemingly small things in my life. This concept was highlighted to me after my first ministry trip to OC. I had an amazing time, found a part of myself I didn't know was in me, created new friends and family, discovered God in new ways, and to top it all off, my trip leader prayed and prophesied over me for the last two hours of our trip back, to which of course I cried...the whole two hours. After all that you would think all was good. Well, by the time I got home, unpacked, showered and got ready for bed, I was feeling pretty good...but then my head hit the pillow and the ugly cry commenced. Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about.


I actually went through this pattern and process with all three of my trips this year - two to OC and one to LA. This became an invitation to explore my heart with the Lord. I realized that while all these trips were amazing, my heart had to mourn the fact that they were all just moments in my life and now they were gone. This has become a bit of a theme this year, as I feel like the Lord also showed me this at the end of 2016.

I don't know about you, but January through March are always hard months for me, and this year while I was thinking about it, I feel like the Holy Spirit said, "Your heart is mourning the end of a year." I mean think about it - a whole year of
your life has come and gone! I've noticed that I get a little sad and sometimes even depressed after New Year's, and this year I realized why, so I took time to journal about all the ups and downs of 2016, gave my heart permission to be sad and acknowledge that that time in my life had ended. I realize this sounds a bit gloomy, but it gets better. I also realized that remembrance was the next step in my process. So after taking time to remember all that happened in 2016, I said goodbye and then welcomed 2017. This gave a whole new meaning to me when I thought about the memory stones the Israelites set up or when Paul the apostle often said he thanked the Lord when he remembered the people he had met and done life with during his missionary journeys (while writing to them during his imprisonment), or why we take communion. Throughout the Bible we see the importance of remembering the hardships and the joys in life, and most importantly the goodness and presence of God in every one of those moments and seasons.


I feel like remembrance is how we steward grief; why in the world would we want to steward grief? Well, I think when I don't, it easily turns into depression and hopelessness. But the key of remembering these times is doing it with God. He sees things differently than we do, so while we are honest with ourselves about being sad and mourning the loss, we have to do it hand-in-hand with Daddy God and ask Him to show us where He was in each moment and ask Him to let us see it the way that He does, so we don't get stuck in the mourning process, regret, or living in the past.

So we're honest about the pain and joy, we remember the good and not so good, and then we entrust all of those things and our hearts into God's hands and move on to the best part - dreaming with God for the next season. Once I can acknowledge what was and entrust it to God, then I can hope for what's to come. It's always a balancing act with Him isn't it? Mourning the past, enjoying the present, hoping for the future...

So what now? Now I will take time over the next few weeks and even months to grieve and remember all that has come (and gone) with this school year - life, friends, family, growth, discovery, God moments, tough moments - and realize the gift that it has been to my heart and soul. And then I will move on and ask God and myself, "So what now?" And another journey of exploration, partnership, and dreaming with the Lord will begin. 

Permission to Dream

Dreaming, hoping, wishing, desiring - all are things that can be scary. What if it doesn't happen? What if my hopes comes crashing down? What if my dreams come to an abrupt halt? I don't know if I can handle the disappointment, so instead of dreaming, hoping, wishing, desiring, I'll just put those things on a shelf to guard my heart.

Yikes! That's a scary conversation to have with yourself...or anyone else for that matter. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but I've definitely had this underlying thought that I'll guard my heart and manage my hopes and dreams in the name of wisdom and stewardship, but in reality what I've done is put my heart in a closet, locked it up and put the key in a hiding place that I can't remember. And the scary part is not the possibility of disappointment; the scary part is that you've shut down a part of your heart that God created, which ultimately means, "Hey God, I don't actually trust you with this thing in my heart because it could be painful, or I'm not sure if it's of you - maybe it's too 'worldly' - so I'm just gonna take that out of your control and hold onto it, because I clearly know what's best for my heart more than You." Now THAT is a scary thought - us trusting ourselves more than we trust the One who made us and knows everything about us (even those things we don't know about ourselves).

So what now? Well, here is my experience over the last couple of months and the beginning of a heart journey with Holy Spirit.

In March, I had the opportunity to go back to OC for a ministry trip and was able to reconnect with some of the same beautiful people that I met on my first OC trip in November. While I was loving my time reconnecting and meeting new people, I had the worst attitude...I know, me have an attitude? Go figure. (Those who know me are rolling their eyes right now.) Anyway, I came so alive on my first trip to OC that I was expecting something similar for this trip even though I knew it would be different because we had a different team, and I trusted the Lord had new things in store, but over the last couple of months, I found the liveliness that I experienced on the first trip had slowly begun to dissipate. What is happening, Lord? Why am I not excited about anything? What is going on in my heart? All good questions but meaningless if you don't wait on the Lord to hear the answers...or if you don't want to hear the answers and actually apply them.

On the second day of the trip we had an ice breaker game (Don't you just love those?) where we chose a number and then were asked a question that lined up with the number. My question was, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" Insert eye roll and bad attitude. I hate this question. Who thinks that far ahead? So my leader reworded the question: "If you could do anything and there were no objects in the way, what would you want to be doing in ten years?" Hmmmm. That's a little different. That kind of feels like a dreaming question. I answered the question and then held it in my heart for the rest of the trip. The next day or so we had a Bible study where the topic was "Dreaming with God," which was interesting, because we had recently read the book Dreaming with God by Bill Johnson for homework. I think there's a theme here. Ok, cutting to the chase. I ended up having a beautiful conversation with my friend Mary, and she told me, "Melody, the devil has perverted the phrase, 'I can be content anywhere,' by allowing it to masquerade as wisdom, but it's actually taken away permission from your heart to dream." BOOM - MIC DROP.


This explosion of revelation went off in my mind and heart when she said that. I realized that over the last few years I had told myself that I can be content anywhere, which is really true, but I had abused that phrase to keep my emotional heart and dreams at bay, because they didn't feel realistic or responsible, or maybe because I just felt like it was just my thoughts or "of the world." But the truth is, I won't actually know if these dreams and hopes are from the Lord unless I take time to explore them with Him and choose to trust, whether they're from Him or not, that He will redirect me if necessary, and that He will actually work all things out for my good. He always has our best in store, and when we partner with Him in journeys of discovery, I believe we'll find out things we never knew about Him or ourselves, and we may even be surprised in the best way possible.

Journal doodles for your enjoyment - you're welcome.

All that to say, will you ask Holy Spirit to guide you on the journey of discovery into the deep things of your heart (and His) and trust that He'll help you balance stewardship over the things that are currently in your life and allow you to stay present while also searching out the hopes and dreams He's deposited in you for your good and the good of others? Will you trust Him with the possibility of disappointment? Will you trust Him with the possibility of your dreams actually becoming a reality? Will you trust that He'll redirect you if needed? Will you choose to believe He's trustworthy and that He cares about the small things in your heart that you've shelved for years? Will you trust that He's a better driver than you are in this journey of life? Will you give your heart permission to dream with God and believe that the keys to those deep things of your heart are better off in His hands than hidden away on a shelf?

Crowned Project: Curtis R.

 THIS, well, this is Curtis Roberts - son, pastor, trip leader, goofball, ex-skater punk, current surfer dude, Jesus lover, and legend. I’ve known this guy for two weeks and he’s already one of my FAVORITE peeps. Does anyone say “peeps” anymore? Apparently I do. Anyway, this guy got rocked by Jesus and was saved from a life of addiction and destruction in his teens. From there he ended up attending Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) 2011-2014, and after graduating he became an itinerant pastor of Bethel Church in Redding, CA. Now he gets the amazing opportunity of taking second year students of BSSM on ministry trips where they get to learn how to be a family and support and encourage each other in taking risks, using their strengths,  and sharing the Gospel. I’ve had the fantastic privilege of serving this guy…and hauling his surfboards around in my car…over the last week. He also oversees a program at one of the local high schools where he and his awesomely rad team get to teach high schoolers practical tools for life and success; I think we all know this is truly needed in our schools and teens today! Curtis loves having fun, is extremely generous, and has a heart of gold that throbs for America and seeing the Gospel become relevant again. How do you even do that - make the Gospel relevant? Here’s just a few ways I’ve seen him do this:

Curtis creates family and community wherever he goes, and in a culture and generation where the core value of family is no longer a priority, this is a big deal! This dude loves, serves and leads well no matter where he is or who he’s with. If you’re having a conversation with him, you will feel loved and like you’re the only person in the room at that moment, because you’re talking to someone who actually cares about people. I’ve seen this guy preach the Word like nobody’s business. He tells it like it is, and at the same time you feel like you just got a big hug. He also has crazy stories where he felt like God asked him to do something, and instead of hiding in fear, he took a risk, God showed up, and people were healed, which in turn gave him the opportunity to share the real Jesus who actually still heals, saves and sets people free.

So here’s the deal, a Canadian on paper, but a southern Californian at heart, Curtis has a huge heart for the SoCal area (and America in general) and to see people really loved and known as they experience the true heart of God; however, in order for him to pursue his dreams here and actually do what God has placed in his heart, he needs a green card. He’s been so blessed as to receive opportunities to work towards this, but that also requires paperwork and money. Below you’ll see a personal video from Curtis himself as he shares his heart, dreams and crazy stories. If you want to partner with him financially, there is a link at the end of the video to help support him and watch him thrive as he pursues the dreams that God has given him. You can also connect with him on FB to hear more about his story, personal testimony, and how much he carries hope and the heart of Daddy God to the world.

This post literally doesn’t even do justice to the amazingness that is Curtis Roberts, but I hope you catch a glimpse of him and his heart through it.

Enjoy!

https://www.youcaring.com/curtisroberts-693323

PS. Curtis loves eating avocados, abnormal amounts of peppers, and his favorite song is “Jesus, You’re Beautiful” by Jon Thurlow.

"Dude, leave the bike..."

Holy crap...it's 2017! Shouldn't we be living like the Jetsons flying around space and such? Our resources apparently haven't caught up with our imaginations yet, but I'm sure it's coming. Anyway, as many others are reflecting on 2016 and anticipating 2017 I thought I would do the same. I actually sat down to journal this morning and then checked Facebook, and then I looked back through previous journal entries, and now I'm blogging...ADD much? I'll get to the original journal entry eventually. All that jumping around in my brain actually had a purpose though, and it was to look back at an entry I wrote about a dream I had in August of 2015.

I had just started the school year, my second year as a middle school teacher, and I was super excited about trying new things...and then I quickly found myself a few weeks into the year not so excited and really having a tough time. And then I had this dream:

I was riding my bike to work; the road was paved and at some point became a dirt road, which had apparently been flooded recently as it was super muddy and hard to ride on. I hit a puddle and water covered me - my hair, clothes, everything was totally soaked. I ended up falling off the bike, because there was so much water and it was so muddy that I had to walk the bike. There were a few other people coming/going on the dirt road, and one car turned off onto a different road (they were coming from the opposite direction - I was the only "smart" person still trying to go through the impossibly muddy road). I assumed the road got better, but it actually ended up getting worse. I tried to get back on the bike and pedal, and I eventually came to a place where the water dried up, and the road actually became really dry...like desert dry. I ended up sticking close to the very edge of the road because there were obstacles in the middle of it. At one point there was a large, rocky wall of some sort that I had to hold on to to keep moving forward, and after some time I finally got to my stopping point. I went inside the building, assuming that I was a total mess from the ride, ya know, being covered with muddy water and all, but when I looked in the mirror, I actually looked fine aside from a scrape on my elbow.

So I was looking back over this dream and I think this is often how our journey looks; we have the rides that start out nice and smooth on the paved road, and at times it gets a little muddy and hard to navigate. Sometimes we can ride quickly through, and other times we have to walk our bike and trudge through the mud. There are also moments where it's so rough that everyone else is going in the opposite direction, but when you know you're going in the right direction, it doesn't necessarily matter where others are going. And then there are times where we reach the desert, and there's nothing around except the dry, cracked ground with obstacles in the middle, and we need to use the rock wall to hang on to as we continue forward, but you know...we still come out in one piece with just a few scrapes. I went back to this dream some months later and while I thought it was just a couple of months prior, I realized I had written about it several months before the moment I was looking back over it; this is what I felt in my heart as I was reading back over it:

There are times when you fall off the bike, and you can't jump back on it. Sometimes you just have to walk it - you walk beside it and you push it through whatever terrain is too tough to ride on. It may be too scary to get back on the bike at times; it may be too frustrating; it may be physically impossible, because what you're going through sometimes requires you to walk it slowly instead of speeding through it - you may miss what you need to see/learn/hear if you're going too fast. These are the times that we find our strength in the Lord, and the treasures of His word that were previously hidden come alive to reveal truth, bring transformation and guide us through. 

I think there are also times that we're trying to walk that bike through the roughest terrain, and the Lord is like, "Dude, leave the bike; it doesn't even matter." It's that thing we're trying to hold on to even though it's making the journey ridiculously difficult, but we are determined to hold on for whatever reason - safety, pride, fear - and He's just like, "Stop. You don't need this where I'm taking you." It may or may not have been necessary in the previous season, but it's definitely not necessary for the next one.

 I just want to encourage those (and I think there are many) that feel like 2016 pushed you down and then kicked you while you were down...over and over (as seen by the many funny, but real memes on Facebook) - it's a new season, and a new year, and it's ok to hope again. So, dude, leave the bike. You don't need it for 2017.

Discovering Imaginatively

Raise your hand if you have dreams? Ok, now put your hands down, because that's weird...especially if you're in public and no one knows what's happening. We all dream at night, sure, unless you're a robot I guess, but I'm talking about using your imagination to think up the craziest thing you can think up or the biggest future you could picture yourself in if there were no limits. Some of us have forgotten how to use that thing called "imagination" over the years, because we've been too busy "adulting," but Ephesians 3:20 says "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think..." Ok, that says, God is able to do above/beyond anything in our lives that we could ever imagine or dream of. For me that means I better start using my imagination a little more, because if I'm imagining or dreaming up things I can accomplish on my own, that doesn't really give God anything to work with. He's good at doing the impossible, so I think that's how I need to start dreaming - impossibly.

All that to say, God has been taking me on a journey of encountering Him through my imagination. If God created me, then He created my imagination, and if God is good and I'm made in His image, then my imagination is good, especially since I've been given the mind of Christ and my mind is being renewed through His word. One way this has helped me is in reading the Bible. I've been taking a class called "Loving the Word," and one thing that has totally changed the way I read the Bible is reading it as an actual book with stories/characters and putting myself in the stories. It's easy to get lost in a good novel, but for some reason that seems harder when we read the Bible. Or is that just me? Anyone? Ok, moving on. This has been a great tool for me in being able to really enjoy reading the Bible and seeing it in a new way, and one of our recent assignments in this class was to choose a passage and then respond to it in a creative way; I chose a short story.

Now before some of you  freak out and think this is blasphemy or "non-biblical," I'm not saying this is an interpretation of the Bible or that I'm adding to it or anything like that. I'm simply IMAGINING, what the story may have actually been like by putting myself in it. For me this creates an invitation to actually experience, study, and dive into the Bible in a greater way. So I'm posting my assignment below; I read from Acts 19:1-12 and chose a unique perspective from which to tell the story...just for fun. I know this is a bit long, but I'm posting the passage and then the story so you get the idea; I hope that the story creates an invitation for you to see the Bible in a different way and encourages you to dive in and start studying it more!

Acts 19:1-12

1 While Apollos was in Corinth, Paul traveled through the interior regions and came to Ephesus. He found some disciples 2 and asked them, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed? ”

“No,” they told him, “we haven’t even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.”

3 “Then what baptism were you baptized with? ” he asked them.

“With John’s baptism,” they replied.

4 Paul said, “John baptized with a baptism of repentance, telling the people that they should believe in the One who would come after him, that is, in Jesus.”

5 When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 6 And when Paul had laid his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they began to speak in other languages and to prophesy. 7 Now there were about 12 men in all.

8 Then he entered the synagogue and spoke boldly over a period of three months, engaging in discussion and trying to persuade them about the things of the kingdom of God. 9 But when some became hardened and would not believe, slandering the Way in front of the crowd, he withdrew from them and met separately with the disciples, conducting discussions every day in the lecture hall of Tyrannus. 10 And this went on for two years, so that all the inhabitants of Asia, both Jews and Greeks, heard the message about the Lord.

11 God was performing extraordinary miracles by Paul’s hands, 12 so that even facecloths or work aprons[fn] that had touched his skin were brought to the sick, and the diseases left them, and the evil spirits came out of them. (Taken from the HCSB)

Short-Story

To many he is considered a father; to some, he’s the opposition, the blasphemer; and to others he’s a friend. But I knew him before the crowd. As a young man learning and growing, I was with him. I remember the long nights of wiping away tears and the hard days of blotting up sweat that others hadn’t seen. I knew him as Saul, and through a long and wonderful journey, I not only saw his transformation, but was transformed myself through his mission.

⧫

The soft breeze blew through me and the scent of fresh air filled my fibers. Saul, who had now become known throughout the region as Paul, had once again brought me along in his journeys of traveling to different lands, engaging with different people, and showing them the Way. We had recently finished our journey through Corinth and had begun traveling through the interior regions when we came to Ephesus, a land of great intelligence, debates and discussions. The air was thick with thoughts and opinions from scholars and teachers of many different things.

As we were coming into the city we stopped at a market where a group of men were discussing baptism; you could always tell when people were part of The Way. There was something about their countenance that was different from others. Overhearing their discussion, Paul, as usual, took it upon himself to join the men. “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?” Paul asked the small gathering.

“No,” they responded, “we haven’t heard that there is a Holy Spirit.” The excitement flickered in Paul’s eyes at their response for he knew what would come next as was his experience through our journeys.

“Then with what baptism were you baptized?” he asked them.

“With John’s baptism,” they replied in somewhat nervous mutters not quite knowing where the conversation was going. At this point the fire was bright in Paul’s eyes; he couldn’t help it. He was a changed man who had been gripped by love and now had a mission.

“John baptized with a baptism of repentance, telling the people that they should believe in the One who would come after him, that is, in Jesus.” he said with a boldness and animation that I was use to hearing ring from his voice when he began talking about Jesus. You could tell that the group of disciples began to catch the life that seemed to float across the air with Paul’s words, and one by one the light came upon them. On hearing this, they were all baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus, and as Paul laid his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came upon them, and they began to speak with other languages and to prophesy. You could see and hear the surprise, excitement, and joy all in one from their faces and voices.

These were my favorite times from our excursions - the change was tangible and the name and person of Jesus was now known in a greater measure than it had been before this point in time. We met with the disciples regularly, and I listened quietly, expectantly as Paul daily taught these men about Jesus and living a life worthy of Him. We began meeting regularly in the synagogue. Paul would teach the Way and share about his experience of how Jesus changed him and the Truth about Jesus - that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life; He’s the only way to the Father. The disciples came and taught with Paul’s guidance. This continued for three months, but with little to no avail. There was something in the Jews’ countenance that remained unwavered by Paul and the disciples words and teachings. Paul perceived their hearts and realizing the people were immovable in their current state and desiring to protect the newly baptized disciples, we withdrew.

Paul, a brilliant man, had another idea. If the Jews would not listen, he would speak to those who would, but that required a change in our routine. Instead of speaking in the cool of the morning when most teachers do, and which we had been doing, Paul began working in the early hours as did the other laymen. It happened that one morning while working we encountered a man named Tyrannus. A man of small stature, but of great means and well-known throughout the scholarly community. He immediately took a liking to Paul and made his teaching hall available to Paul upon hearing that Paul was intelligent like himself.   

The next week, we were up early, and I sat and listened to Paul speak with Holy Spirit as he engaged in his trade of tentmaking. I watched as Paul carefully worked at crafting every part, and the detail and attention he gave to his trade was the same detail and attention that he gave to every person that he engaged with throughout the morning. When the cool, morning air began to grow warm from the sun and the heat became too much for work, Paul would leave his work and take up just what he needed to the day. We walked for some time down to the hall of Tyrannus, the generous intellectual who enjoyed his former conversation with Paul. As we came upon the theatre men began filling the halls for it was the time of day where men would break from their labors to engage in discussion and debates while resting from their work in the heat of the day.

We came upon a few men on the outer edge of the halls and Paul began to discuss their trades and inquire about their life stories. From that point he began to share of his own journeys and his transformation through Jesus. I noticed after sometime of discussing with these men that the few had grown to many, and the majority of the men in the theatre had filled the space where we were. There was something in Paul’s words - life -  that drew the gentiles near. From that day on we we would walk down to the theatre of Tyrannus as the sun rose higher into the afternoon sky to discuss with the men who were lounging their from their morning’s work. The many different men from all trades and backgrounds of all shapes and sizes began to bring others - colleagues, friends, family - to engage in discussion with Paul.

And this went on for two years, so that all the inhabitants of Asia, both Jews and Greeks, heard the message about the Lord.I watched from the background as countenances changed, hearts grew and the miraculous took place. God was performing extraordinary miracles by Paul’s hands so that even facecloths or work aprons that had touched his skin were brought to the sick, and the diseases left them, and the evil spirits came out of them.

And this is where my story comes in. You see, I am a mere handkerchief that was touched by a mere man who was touched by a mighty God.I had the privilege of watching the transformation of a man, of seeing the miraculous released through his hands, and then one day, that miraculous power was transferred to me, and I was able to see and experience the power of Jesus first hand. I now understood what it was all about: the love and joy stirred in those that had been healed and set free; they finally knew the One who was and is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Crowned Project: Mattie D

THIS is Mattie D, also known as Matt Droguett - THE snowboarding, soccer playing, freestyle rapping, beatboxing, rattlesnake rounding, Canadian, who also loves Mexican food and wants ten kids. But on a serious note, this guy is the life of the party and truly loves Jesus and people. He is the extrovert of all extroverts, but the best part is, it’s never about him. Matt loves to run with people and do life with them simply because he loves them, which comes from his history with God.

His story with Jesus is basically that they’re amigos, BFFs, homies...well, you get the picture. Because of Matt’s deep connection with Jesus, he’s passionate about seeing others connect with Him too, and the best part is, he asks for nothing in return. Matt says, “The world says ‘I love you; do you love me?’ but I say, ‘I love you.’” Wow. Just wow. I mean, come on; we all know what it feels like when someone has an agenda for us and we know it. It doesn’t always feel great, because there’s an expectation that we have to reproduce or reciprocate or have something else to offer and we don’t always feel up to the challenge...or is that just me? I think others can join the group here. This is one thing I love about Matt - he loves without an agenda, which is the perfect example of Jesus. When we see Jesus in the Bible, He’s hanging out with all the people that the religious leaders of His time had looked upon as those not to be associated with, the untouchable, but Jesus came, said “I love you, let’s hang,” dined with them, AND THEN, instead of asking for something in return, He went a step further and gave all that He could - His life. I feel that it’s rare to meet people who will actually “lay down their life” for someone else. In a time where we can often appear to be focused on numero uno only loving those that are like us or agree with us, being able to love despite differences in beliefs, lifestyles, character, core values, political sides, career choices, parenting styles, etc. is HUGE.

So this is what Mattie D. offers to the world - Love without a catch; no agenda, no return, just love.

This is who I’ve chosen to highlight this week in hopes that you would catch his passion and be stirred with something you didn’t have before - a hope, a dream, a vision for love. 

He’s the cool, hippie model of the rastafarian-looking slouchy beanie for this week. If you want this beanie and to also help support both Matt and I financially through a suggested donation of $35, this beanie is yours! Simply comment on the ORIGINAL facebook post on MY facebook page. The first person to comment that they want it gets first dibs. I’ll connect with you from there on how you can make your donation. As a reminder, the donations are to just help out financially in my journey while here at BSSM, and 20% of the donation will go towards whoever is being highlighted each week to bless them as well; you will not just be sowing into our lives financially, but also our stories, testimonies and dreams. Thanks for the support and for hearing Matt’s story.

If you want to connect with Matt to hear more about his story, his passion for purity, bringing God into the “marketplace” and how he loves taking risks, find him on facebook - Matt Droguett.

PS. He also once caught a snapping turtle while fishing.

Crowned Project: Intro

So here's the thing...I've got this idea for a project, although that's not how it began, but I'd like to share this idea with you. I'll try to keep my usual long-windedness (Is that even a word?) to a minimum. I know, good luck, right?

Well, I'm at ministry school in California, I'm working part-time, and my bills are more than my income. No worries, God is good, everything will get taken care of, people are making donations...all is good in the world; HOWEVER, I believe God gives us creative ideas and resources as a means to bless us and others. So here is what has been stirring in me lately...

I really like to knit; I feel like an old lady as I say that, but it really is enjoyable. So I was thinking about something fairly easy, yet practical that I could make that people would actually want to buy while also supporting me in my journey. The outcome - beanies! Why not? They're cute, it's fall, and Christmas is around the corner; plus everyone here wears them all the time. I thought these would be a great idea that people could get for themselves or as gifts for others since it's the holiday season and also bless me in the process. And yes, the beanie in my picture is mine - handmade with love and everything!

However, from this point the idea sort of evolved into a project instead of a simple idea to help out a little financially. I actually want to be able to bless others (aside from myself and those that will receive the beanies) through this project, and here's what Jesus and I came up with; ok, fine, it was more His idea than mine. 

There are a lot of amazing people here pursuing their dreams, figuring out who they are, starting over or just starting out, but the truth is they each have a story to tell, a testimony to release, a dream to dream and something to offer to the world, and I want to highlight it. So what does that look like exactly? I'm glad you asked. This looks like me making a beanie, choosing someone I've met along the journey to share their story and "model" the beanie, and then bless them with 20% of the proceeds that come in from the purchase of the beanie.  

Logistics: I'm actually making this a donation-based project. There will be a suggested donation amount for each beanie (they will all be different) that will help to cover material costs, time, and shipping, if necessary, so please keep that in mind. 20% of the donation will go to whoever has been highlighted and whatever is left will go towards my financial needs at this time. It may not be much, but every little bit helps! And again, the donation amount is only suggested, so more or less can be given. The first person that comments on the original FACEBOOK post on my page will get dibs on donating and receiving the beanie for the week. I'll connect with the first person that comments and then direct them to a PayPal link that can be used for the donation, and as soon as it's processed that beanie will be on it's way.

Another aspect of this idea has come from a study of Psalm 103. I started reading this passage of Scripture a couple of months ago and couldn't get past the first few verses, because God was highlighting so much to me, and one part in particular is in verse four where is says, "[He] crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion." I began to think about a crown or being crowned and some things that came to mind were that it represents royalty, authority, government, a transference (of authority or power from one generation to the next), family/sonship, and covering. So here's where I'm going with that. A hat, or a beanie, will literally cover the crown of your head - the topmost part of your head and the first thing typically seen when you enter the world at birth. Before each beanie is sent out, it's worn by someone that has a story to share and a testimony to release, so if you want what they have, just receive it when you receive the beanie (or even if you don't get the beanie); also, each beanie will be prayed over and blessed so that it may bless whoever receives it. In the New Testament, people took clothes that had touched the Apostle Paul's body, and those who received the clothes were healed and set free (Acts 19:11-12)...who knows what God can use a simple beanie for? Maybe nothing, but maybe something. 

So this is the Crowned Project; you've been given the introduction, and the first person's story along with the first beanie to be offered is soon to come, so stay tuned!