Be Kind, Be Bad, Eat the Pastry

As my friend’s mom and I were discussing the “yogurt napper” who took her coconut yogurt (not me), she decided to settle for a bagel. In the process of heating her bagel, she said, “I’m going to be kind to myself and be bad,” which I thought was the best ironic statement ever, because I realized how true that can be in our lives. Sometimes we have to “be bad” in order to be kind to ourselves. Now for those who want to take this too far, let’s go ahead and establish that I don’t mean morally or lawfully bad or anything that will actually hurt or harm (anyone) in any way.

Be kind, be bad, eat the pastry

Sometimes we see things as "bad" because of expectations, limitations, norms established by family,

friends, society, ourselves...whatever. We could talk about it for days. BUT sometimes being kind to yourself means doing the thing you don’t normally do. SOMETIMES it’s eating the bagel or doughnut. Sometimes it’s taking the day off for some fun downtime. Sometimes it’s binging on Netflix. Sometimes it’s taking a nap. Sometimes it’s ordering pizza and making cookies while eating half of the cookie dough. 

Now there is also the other side of this where kindness looks the opposite. Kindness could be choosing the healthy option for your body. It could be making a better choice at work. It might look like cutting back on caffeine. (I know...blasphemy for some.) It could be going for a walk instead of binging on that show you’ve already seen three times in its entirety. It could be going to bed earlier. And again, the list goes on and on. 

What’s my point? Great question. Maybe others do not struggle with this, but I have found that it can be easier to show compassion or kindness towards others while not extending the same thing to ourselves. BUT I have also found that as I learn to show compassion and kindness towards myself, my capacity to show that for others also increases. While I may have had compassion for some things, there were a lot of other things that I didn’t really have it for -  usually things that I didn’t understand or have experience with. I would often get frustrated or annoyed in those times where I lacked understanding or experience, but (wouldn’t you know it) I have now had to show myself compassion in some of those very areas that I would typically get frustrated or annoyed with concerning others, and that has hugely increased my capacity to be kind to others when I don’t understand their situation or experience.

I was definitely the judgy perfectionist for quite some time, and I realized that the measuring stick I was holding everyone else to was the same one I held to myself - the standards, the expectations, the rules. Sometimes this is a good thing, but not when it lacks understanding and kindness. So I have had a conversation with myself, the Lord and others about what it practically looks like to have compassion for yourself. 

In the last year, exploring compassion for myself has been my playground. Sometimes I would figure it out, and sometimes I failed miserably. I have seen where I hold unrealistic expectations over myself and others, which ultimately hurts connection, and as I continue in this journey, I realize that the most important thing for me is connection. So how do I gain connection with myself and others? I explore and discover what it looks like to have compassion and show kindness through the various stages, seasons and processes we go through. 

What does it practically look like to have compassion? What is compassion anyway? I think it is the place where we realize that other people’s pain affects us because we are all (somehow) connected, and coupled with that realization is a desire to see people move through pain. The problem is we’re often too busy measuring everyone’s choices (or lack thereof) that we have no desire to understand them or their situations - we have completely forgotten what it is like to be connected. Dang, just went real deep. You’re welcome. Also, I’m pretty sure some of that came from reading Brene Brown over the summer. She definitely has hit things on the head in this area, so if you need more of this, check out her books, talks or interviews!

So what does it look like? Showing compassion for myself over the last year has looked like many different things:

• It has looked like removing the measuring stick that I have held over my life for so long

• It has looked like not being in control

• It has looked like dropping the ball and being ok with not have it all together

• It has looked like choosing myself over what looked, felt or seemed responsible

• It has looked like exploring creativity and what actually makes me come alive despite how it might affect others

• It has looked like giving myself permission to feel, be emotional, and walk through those feelings one day at a time

• It has looked like not having a plan

• It has looked like having the cake, the doughnut and the pastry with my oversized cup of coffee

• It has also looked like learning how to take care of myself again - getting more than 4-5 hours of sleep, trying to sleep in for an extra hour when I can, making myself cook and eat healthy meals, exercising, forcing myself to nap even when it gave me anxiety to slow down and do that, saying “no” to people and things that I care about in order to take care of myself.

It has looked like many things, and many of those things have been a struggle in the process, but I have found that it has been so worth it to be kind and compassionate towards myself and my process, because I now have much more patience, kindness and compassion towards others even when I don’t understand, because I have also had to walk through my own process in the midst of misunderstanding; and what I’ve discovered is that the world still moves on, so why not be kind in the process?

Maybe you need to “be bad” in order to be kind to yourself this week. Maybe you just need to understand that someone else’s journey doesn’t look yours and that is ok. Maybe you need to release yourself or someone else of an unspoken and undiscussed expectation. Maybe you need to set a goal of connection. Whatever you need, ask yourself what kindness and compassion look like for you in this season.

#getthedoughnut

#butstillworkout

Be the Hero of Your Story

Have you ever met someone who was a great storyteller - you know, those people who remember EVERY detail, add the sound effects and hand motions, can do the voices and all that jazz? Those are some of my favorite people! I have a few of those in my life. One of my all-time, favorite storytellers is my godfather. He’s one of those guys that knows literally everyone and everyone knows him. He has the BEST sound effects, and of course, one of my favorite stories he tells is about me. (Who doesn’t like to hear stories about themselves? Ok, all you “humble” people out there stop lying; everyone loves to hear good, funny stories about themselves.) My favorite story he tells is about the time I (allegedly) talked his son into running away with me. We were about three years old, and at some point our parents realized we weren’t around. We were found a ways down the road walking hand-in-hand on the sidewalk as if all were good and normal in the world (while our parents had been frantic and freaking out). When our parents got to us, they asked us what we were doing, and my response was, “We’re wunning away!” which was said in my cutest, little three-year-old voice of course.

While I do actually love hearing my godfather tell that story, what I am learning to equally love is owning and telling my own story. I have always loved storytelling in general - novels, movies, plays, TV shows, etc. It’s easy to fall in love with the characters, their lives, their stories - the ups, downs and everything in between. Let’s face it; we can never grow out of loving stories - telling them, hearing them, seeing them. I’m pretty sure it is hardwired into our DNA to be storytellers to some extent, but for some reason, it is sometimes easier to dismiss our own stories over others’ stories.

In her book, Braving the Wilderness, Brene Brown interviews Viola Davis who beautifully states the following:

“There’s an unspoken message that the only stories worth telling are the stories that end up in history books. This is not true. Every story matters...We are all worthy of telling our stories and having them heard. We all need to be seen and honored in the same way that we all need to breathe.”

We play many characters throughout our lifetime. We wear many hats - son, daughter, brother, sister, mother, father, actor, teacher, employee, boss, the list goes on and on - and there are often times when we are wearing one hat that we wish we could put on a different one. However, I have found that when we can own who we are and the current role we are playing in the present, we have accomplished something great. It’s easy to get caught up in a great story with dynamic characters and vibrant scenes, but those are all someone else’s stories. Like me, you may think, What is so special about my story? The truth is, it’s special because it’s mine. It is the only story I have to offer and the greatest one I could personally ever share with anyone. We were each created with a specific design and purpose - we were made to display an aspect of God’s heart that no one else can. It’s easy to look at someone else’s story, testimony, life etc. and wish that we could switch places even if for a moment, but then the world would miss out on your story and what you have to offer, and trust me, you definitely have something to offer!

With any story, the audience waits with anticipation for the characters to be revealed, for the plot to develop and a story to unfold. The same goes for us. There is an anticipation, an expectancy in all of creation that is waiting for us to take ownership of who we are and our stories. Where else should we play the lead if not in our own stories? Everyone around you is waiting to see who you are, how you live, how you take ownership of your story and how it will be expressed. 

And your expression of your story will look different than someone else’s. There are so many outlets of expression and sharing. We can tend to think of artistic expressions - art, music, theatre, writing, etc - as the only outlets, but our unique story expressions can come out in other ways. As parents, it comes out in your children (although some of you might not want to lay claim to that statement). Your children are a beautiful expression of you and your story. For others, it’s a business venture, your career, a hobby, your relationships and the way you share and invest yourself in them. Everything you do is an expression of you and your story. Don’t hold back, you have too much to share and offer. The world needs your story!

The first step to expressing your story is to embrace it! Own your story! It doesn’t matter what it has looked like up to this point. It is never too late to own your story, be your lead character and say “yes” to the adventure of watching it unfold. I believe that when we fully embrace our own stories, it then becomes an honor to share and express them with those around us because of the understanding we gain through our journey, sacrifice, intentionality and pursuit that is required to be present in our own lives. 

How will your story be expressed? How will it be remembered? Will others choose to be present in their own stories because of the way you lived yours?

#everystorymatters

#betheheroofyourstory

Belonging to You

What does it mean to belong? We can belong to our families, friend groups, associations, careers, religious groups, basically anything that allows us to feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. As a previous middle school teacher, I saw this basic desire displayed EVERY day with my students. They were in that “fun” phase of wanting to be adults and have independence but deep down still wanting/needing structure, boundaries and connection (at least to some extent). They said they didn't care if no one liked them or if they didn't “belong” to a certain group, club, or team, but underneath that hard, thin shell and mask of independence was the basic need and desire to belong...to something, to someone, to anything.

I don’t know if this need/desire ever actually goes away. Even in independence, there’s still something within that wants to belong, to not be alone, to share in life. I mean, who actually wants to do EVERYTHING alone? Those of you that just thought “me” to yourself...we both know you’re lying. Sure, there are certain things you might want to do by yourself, or perhaps you work better independently, but in the end anyone who says they don’t have a need or desire to belong to anyone or anything is probably just covering up a past wound of rejection that they never wanted (or knew how) to deal with. I know...I’m diving into that real real stuff today...because it’s soooo true!

So back to belonging and a bit of my story with this topic. This summer I read Brene Brown’s book, “Braving the Wilderness,” which was suggested by a friend. It was exactly what I needed in this season and came at the perfect time. While reading this book, there was laughing, crying, snotting and mounds of Kleenex heaping on my floor. That’s when you know it’s good! Anyway, in this book, Brene talks mostly about belonging. She talks about the basic desire and need to belong, but at the core of it, she talks about belonging to yourself.

Inspired by a Maya Angelou poem...well, more like frustrated because she didn’t understand it...Brene set out to find the meaning of Angelou’s poem and found herself on a quest for true belonging. Angelou’s poem states,

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place - you belong every place - no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”

Ok, I’ll be honest. I was frustrated when I read this too. As much as I like to be imaginative and creative, my literal side was like, “Um, you cannot belong nowhere and everywhere...come on, Maya.” But by the end of the book, Brene brought it all to a close saying,

“True belonging requires us to believe in and belong to ourselves so fully that we can find sacredness in both being a part of something, and standing alone when necessary.”

There is something so beautiful (often through a painful journey) in belonging to yourself. It is the place where you are fully (and free to be) yourself; you are 100% ok with who you are and can embrace the moments of standing alone because you know yourself - who you are, what you like, where you stand on issues, what you value. It is also the place where you are able to fully embrace the moments/seasons when you are with others.

There was a moment the other day where this realization hit me; it was literally one of those “light-bulb” moments. Although I understood what Brene was saying in the book, I had not yet fully experienced it, and as I was enjoying my morning coffee, I had the “Ah-ha!” moment. I have spent so much time over my life trying to be what I thought people around me wanted or needed, or have only brought the strengths those around me needed, or have only shared pieces of myself (while shutting down others) because of what others might think; but I have recently been on a journey of exploring and discovering me (what I actually value, what I love, my strengths/weaknesses and what I want in life), and in having to do that alone I have discovered that being ok with who I am in the times of standing alone (belonging nowhere) allows me to fully be ok with who I am in the times of being with others (belonging everywhere).

To all the shy ones, the insecure, the peacekeepers and those who have simply lost sight of themselves in the everyday demands, here is your permission to be fully you! Explore and discover YOU, because YOU are worth getting to know (or getting to know again for those who have just forgotten). You will belong nowhere, but you will also belong everywhere.

#befree #beyou #worthit

Adventure for the Soul

This post is EXTRA special! I had the privilege of writing this post as an article for my friend's book The Adventure Challenge. This book is designed in a fun and creative way to challenge you in adventure and exploration while building relationships/community. Check out The Adventure Challenge on YouTube here AND go Follow and Like it on Facebook. A kick-starter will be launched THIS coming Monday, October 15th, to pre-order the book - check that out here! You WANT this book in your life...especially since you'll find this article and another one written by yours truly in it!

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Have you ever read those “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books? There were like 50 versions of it (one for every stage of life), and if you grew up in a southern, Christian home, you more than likely read the one for teens or got a college edition as a graduation gift. There are actually lots of things that are good for our souls, and some things that we think are good for it but actually aren’t. Luckily, adventure is one of the things that is definitely good for it, or at least that has been my experience, especially over the last couple of years. 

What is so great about adventure? What exactly does it do for the soul? I would say the best thing about adventure is the many discoveries that it leads to.  Adventure has led me out of my norms, out my comfort zone, and out of complacency and has led me into relationships, into the unknown, into the scary and fun, and (the best thing) into knowing others and being known. Adventure has allowed me to discover things about myself that I didn’t know before, and it has allowed me to rediscover things about myself that have been buried by the everyday things that tend to build up over time. 

Some of the very challenges in The Adventure Challenge have led me into discoveries about myself and others. I have found that I LOVE surprises, I truly value getting to watch others discover things about themselves as they adventure and take risks, I really enjoy being ridiculous with my friends, I like to try new things even when they freak me out, and I have realized how much I love exploring myself, my people and my community. 

I grew up being the insecure, shy girl (although some wouldn’t know by the masks I wore) who had TONS of anxiety when trying new things, speaking in public, or doing anything beyond my comfort zone, which didn't take much since my comfort zone was the size of a grain of sand. I was always afraid of messing up, not measuring up, or just cared way too much about what others thought. Over the years, I have found that when I try to view things as adventures instead of scary or risky unknowns, my fears and insecurities dissipate, even if just a little, because adventure changes everything. It makes the scary or difficult things exciting, and it is even better when you do it with your people, because you get to adventure, discover and look ridiculous together. You get to know yourselves and each other, and you get to be known, which deep down is what we all really need and want. 

"Up" - one of my fave movies!

Adventure has led me to climbing trees, jumping off cliffs, moving to new places, taking risks, understanding myself better, challenging my norms, and experiencing the brilliance and strength in my people. How does adventure do all of these things? It offers discovery. It uncovers the beauty in ourselves, our people and our surroundings. Adventure and discovery are the best things we could offer to ourselves and the people around us. 

So, what are you waiting for? Go start your own adventure and see what you discover!

#adventureisoutthere

#adventureforthesoul

And Just Like That

“And just like that, I was beach-body ready”...said no one EVER (unfortunately). For the first time, I actually felt beach-body ready(ish) this summer, but it didn’t come overnight - more like three months of hard work. I’m finding out, however, that it doesn’t take quite as long to lose that beach body. A month and a half into slacking off has definitely been apparent...at least that’s what my jeans are telling me. Ok, some of you are thinking, “Girl, the new year and summer have both passed, I’m working on my winter body now; I don’t want to hear about fitness.”  Fine, fine. We’ll save that for resolutions in a few months. But what I DO want to talk about is the pain in the process.

Fun, right? I know, this is one of your favorite subjects...I mean, who doesn’t enjoy walking through pain? Well, pain doesn’t always look or feel the same. For example, working out typically puts your body through physical pain, which I’m now experiencing as I begin to jump back into a routine, and while it doesn’t quite seem worth it in the moment of sweating in the living room, feeling like I’m 90, and just wanting to take a nap, I know the end goal will be worth it. Why? Why will it be worth it? Well, for one I’ll feel better physically. Two, I’ll be stronger and have more stamina, so I can better keep up with life. And most importantly, at least for me, is the fact that I get to look back over the process, the pain, the hard work and see how far I’ve come.

Pain in the process can also be related to pursuing a dream. Along with my own pursuits, I’m watching so many friends of mine pursue their dreams right now, and it doesn’t always look pretty or glamorous. They’re digging into the everyday things - finding housing, working “regular” jobs, paying bills, taking classes, building community, ya know...life - but they’re also holding their dreams in front of them anticipating that it will be worth the pain in the process. For things like this, we walk through emotional and mental pain in the process of being present and doing the necessary things to move forward while keeping our eyes on the prize. I look forward to the day where we are all sitting around saying, “Man that sucked...BUT it was so worth it! Look how far we’ve come!”

We don’t tend to like this subject or idea of pain. It has somehow gotten a bad rap over time and has become something to stay away from at all costs, which is why we often find things to numb pain or avoid it altogether, especially when we’re dealing with the pain of loss. But I want to talk about the pain of gain in this post - “no pain, no gain”. Yeah, I went there. It is so cliché but so true. One of my favorite quotes from Kris Vallotton, which I’m currently realizing the truth in is “vision gives pain a purpose.” When you have no vision in your process or in the middle of pain, it is easy to feel like a fish out of water floundering around on hot, grainy sand trying desperately to breathe and figure out what is happening, but when you catch vision of home, of life, of a dream, hope is ignited and the pain of flopping your way across the sand becomes worth it to make it to that place of vision.

So “vision gives pain a purpose,” and the pain in the process is what gives value to your vision. It is easy to get into the process and begin to wonder if it’s worth it - What am I doing? Why am I here? Why am I putting myself through so much pain? Should the process be this painful? Will the end goal be worth it? Sometimes the process is not as bad or painful as we make it out to be - we simply need a perspective adjustment, especially when patience, endurance, and perseverance are required, which is usually the case. Sometimes the process actually is as bad or painful as we are experiencing it, but I am realizing that the pain in the process is what gives value to the end goal or vision. Some of the most beautiful things (dreams, relationships, etc.) come out of the painful processes. If a dream were to happen “just like that,” it probably wouldn’t have as much value, but when you know the “blood, sweat and tears,” so to speak, that it took to get there, you understand the value of it. Your pain in the process gives value to your vision. You then get the privilege to say, “Look how far we’ve come!” while fully understanding the weight of that statement.

We can tend to want the “just like that” moment or ending, especially when we are in the painful process or we don’t understand the pain in the process - this is the place where we have to believe it is somehow worth it; this is the place where there is an invitation into deeper relationship with the Lord, yourself, and the people around you in order to catch and establish vision, and then you hope and expect and anticipate that it will be worth it on the other side. And sometimes, the “just like that” moments do happen and still mean a lot to us, but I think even better than those times are the times of painful, persevering processes that seem to linger on forever and then “just like that” a switch is flipped...except that you know all of the work that has led up to the “just like that” moment. You know the vision that was held before you in the painful process that allowed you to keep going because it gave purpose to your pain, and you understand the value of your vision because of the pain that you walked through to reach it.

Maybe you’re in what feels like the never-ending process - keep going! Maybe you’re afraid to start the process of pursuit because it feels too late or because you know the price is high -  it’s never too late and high price means high value! Maybe you have just begun the process and are already losing momentum or wondering if it’s worth it - hold your dreams before you and keep saying yes! The “just like that” moment will eventually come, and it will come with the privilege of saying, “Look how far we’ve come!” and that is what makes it worth it all.

DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, DO THIS

I stared at my computer screen trying desperately to find the correct format for my screenplay. When I clicked on the second page of my Google search, I realized it was serious. I couldn’t believe it! It was a simple question, and one that I knew the answer to in grade 10 but couldn’t remember now. I double checked what I had typed into the search bar to make sure it was the right question.There was no answer to my question. Instead of answers, I found links to people’s opinions on why I should not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, do what I wanted with my screenplay. Despite the unhelpful opinions, I decided to read the articles anyway hoping they would somehow provide the format I was looking for, but instead, I read over and over people’s opinions on why my idea was the worst thing I could ever use for my screenplay. Then I read this:

“The only time this has been successful is for the few movies like Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, etc.”

I read the list in disbelief. These people were literally saying, “Don’t do this. It never works...except for some of the most successful movies of all time. It worked for them, but it’s probably not going to work for you, so don’t even try.” Instead of feeling defeated, I closed Google, opened my screenplay and figured out the format myself. I was not going to let a couple of strangers’ fears that I would make a mistake keep me from using my idea.

 As a kid, no one can tell you that you’re not creative. You believe it with every ounce of your little body. You graffiti everything from the walls to tables to the paper you were originally supposed to draw on. Yet, somewhere along the line, we let people’s opinions shape what our creativity looks like.

The people that wrote the screenplays for Shawshank Redemption and Forrest Gump didn’t listen to the popular opinion that their idea wasn’t going to work. They didn’t let popular opinion sway them from their creative instincts. They didn’t let popular opinion frame their creative thinking and writing. Instead, they pushed forward and were met with success. I’m not saying that every time you take a risk or go against the status quo you’re going to be met with success - you may just be met with failure, but what you do with that failure will determine your success in the future, and it will also redefine what “success” is in your life.  

Do not give up on your dreams; do not give up on your ideas. Be authentic; be creative! And do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, let strangers’ opinions determine whether or not you take a risk. Trust God’s voice in your life, trust the community in your life, trust your own creative self, and HAVE FUN.

-Emilie Bartel

Wait, Whaaaat?

What do you do when things don’t look like you thought? No, really. I’m asking you what you actually do. Ok, well since this is my blog, I guess I’ll tell you what I do...or at least what I’m learning. I don’t know if we ever actually “arrive” with stuff like this - it’s a lifelong process that changes with each situation, but I have found that each situation is an invitation into exploration with ourselves, those around us, and the Lord. 

I have found it funny...well, maybe interesting is a better word...that when the Lord tells us something, especially in a time of transition, we tend to come up with an idea of what that will look like.

Example:

God: This transition will be a gift to you. It will be a time of adventure that you remember forever.

Me: Oh, yes! This is going to be SO easy and lots of fun. Def what I need after the last season.

God: (silently laughs to Himself)

Reality of the situation - one of the toughest transitions of my life

Me: Wait, whaaaaaat?! Are you kidding me, God?! This is not what you said!

Me (4 months later): Ok, it wasn’t easy, and there was a lot of pain and processing, BUT You were right - it was a time that I will forever remember...I discovered and learned about myself and Your nature - definitely a gift that I will hold dearly. 

God: (pulls me close and we laugh together)

It seems to be a constant conversation of, “Wait, what? That’s not what you said, God.” But then we look back over the previous season and realize He was still there, and He showed up in ways that He said He would...it just looked different than what we thought. This can be in every season, moment or transition of life - the big things and the small things. Maybe you start a new job - a job that God told you to take even if you didn’t want to - and it ends up being more than you imagined it would be. Or maybe you start a dream job that the Lord opened up for you - you know there is some high expectation on this one - and then you realize it wasn’t everything you had hoped it would be. And yet, in the middle of both scenarios, there are surprises to be experienced, treasures to be discovered, and lessons to be learned despite our original expectations. 

So what do we do in those moments, chapters, seasons where what we see doesn’t match the expectations we created in our minds? It’s easy to say, “Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. God, this isn’t what you said. YOU said this, this, and this, but that is not what I’m experiencing right now.” We’re totally fine when what we see exceeds our expectations of His word, but what about when it doesn’t? What about the times when He says, “Do this, and I’ll bless you” follows with you doing it and barely getting by? What about the times He says, “Go here, and I’ll be with you” and then you go and feel more alone than you ever have? What about the times where He says, “It’s time to play and have fun” but then you do and things seem to crumble? 

In those, “Wait, what?” moments where what He said doesn’t appear to be reality, I hold on to some keys things:

1. I go back to what He actually said, and I remind myself over and over and over again of what He said and who He is: He said I will know His kindness in this season; He’s not a liar; His Word will do what it set out to do until completion.
2. I dig deeper. My ways of thinking about kindness may not be the same as His, so I ask Him to show me the ways He has extended kindness to me in this season or in previous seasons. I don’t know why I’m still surprised that He always shows me something when I ask this, and it changes the way I see everything. 
3. I constantly ask Him what He is doing. In those freak-out moments of frustration where I don’t think He has kept His word, I ask Him what He is doing, and a word or phrase typically comes to mind that shows me a new aspect of His nature, changes the way I see my situation, and sustains me in the season.
4. I hold my expectations loosely before Him. The expectations that I have created in my head almost always look different than what actually happens, and yet I still see Him come through. I know He gives good gifts to His kids, and He does things for our good and benefit, so while I may have an expectation in my mind of what things will look like, I hold my open hands before Him with those expectations and give Him permission to show up how He said He would even if it looks different than what I originally thought.
5. I stay connected to community. The people I have invited into my journey also know what God has told me about my season, and while I’m still growing in this (as an ex-hermit who used the excuse of being an introvert in order to keep people at a distance), I am finding great value in it, because when I forget what He has said, they are there to remind me; you know, those moments where (out of love) they gently slap you in the face with their words. Those are the friends you want to keep around.

It is in the “Wait, what?” moments that I am finding the greatest discoveries. They cause me to dig deeper, go further, and explore more in this great adventure of my story. Maybe it doesn’t look like what I had hoped for or expected. Maybe it’s worse, or maybe it’s better, but my hope for things to get better and exceed my expectations will not be rooted in what I see but in what He says. Discoveries come in the “Wait, what?” moments; don’t take them for granted!