Wait, Whaaaat?

What do you do when things don’t look like you thought? No, really. I’m asking you what you actually do. Ok, well since this is my blog, I guess I’ll tell you what I do...or at least what I’m learning. I don’t know if we ever actually “arrive” with stuff like this - it’s a lifelong process that changes with each situation, but I have found that each situation is an invitation into exploration with ourselves, those around us, and the Lord. 

I have found it funny...well, maybe interesting is a better word...that when the Lord tells us something, especially in a time of transition, we tend to come up with an idea of what that will look like.

Example:

God: This transition will be a gift to you. It will be a time of adventure that you remember forever.

Me: Oh, yes! This is going to be SO easy and lots of fun. Def what I need after the last season.

God: (silently laughs to Himself)

Reality of the situation - one of the toughest transitions of my life

Me: Wait, whaaaaaat?! Are you kidding me, God?! This is not what you said!

Me (4 months later): Ok, it wasn’t easy, and there was a lot of pain and processing, BUT You were right - it was a time that I will forever remember...I discovered and learned about myself and Your nature - definitely a gift that I will hold dearly. 

God: (pulls me close and we laugh together)

It seems to be a constant conversation of, “Wait, what? That’s not what you said, God.” But then we look back over the previous season and realize He was still there, and He showed up in ways that He said He would...it just looked different than what we thought. This can be in every season, moment or transition of life - the big things and the small things. Maybe you start a new job - a job that God told you to take even if you didn’t want to - and it ends up being more than you imagined it would be. Or maybe you start a dream job that the Lord opened up for you - you know there is some high expectation on this one - and then you realize it wasn’t everything you had hoped it would be. And yet, in the middle of both scenarios, there are surprises to be experienced, treasures to be discovered, and lessons to be learned despite our original expectations. 

So what do we do in those moments, chapters, seasons where what we see doesn’t match the expectations we created in our minds? It’s easy to say, “Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. God, this isn’t what you said. YOU said this, this, and this, but that is not what I’m experiencing right now.” We’re totally fine when what we see exceeds our expectations of His word, but what about when it doesn’t? What about the times when He says, “Do this, and I’ll bless you” follows with you doing it and barely getting by? What about the times He says, “Go here, and I’ll be with you” and then you go and feel more alone than you ever have? What about the times where He says, “It’s time to play and have fun” but then you do and things seem to crumble? 

In those, “Wait, what?” moments where what He said doesn’t appear to be reality, I hold on to some keys things:

1. I go back to what He actually said, and I remind myself over and over and over again of what He said and who He is: He said I will know His kindness in this season; He’s not a liar; His Word will do what it set out to do until completion.
2. I dig deeper. My ways of thinking about kindness may not be the same as His, so I ask Him to show me the ways He has extended kindness to me in this season or in previous seasons. I don’t know why I’m still surprised that He always shows me something when I ask this, and it changes the way I see everything. 
3. I constantly ask Him what He is doing. In those freak-out moments of frustration where I don’t think He has kept His word, I ask Him what He is doing, and a word or phrase typically comes to mind that shows me a new aspect of His nature, changes the way I see my situation, and sustains me in the season.
4. I hold my expectations loosely before Him. The expectations that I have created in my head almost always look different than what actually happens, and yet I still see Him come through. I know He gives good gifts to His kids, and He does things for our good and benefit, so while I may have an expectation in my mind of what things will look like, I hold my open hands before Him with those expectations and give Him permission to show up how He said He would even if it looks different than what I originally thought.
5. I stay connected to community. The people I have invited into my journey also know what God has told me about my season, and while I’m still growing in this (as an ex-hermit who used the excuse of being an introvert in order to keep people at a distance), I am finding great value in it, because when I forget what He has said, they are there to remind me; you know, those moments where (out of love) they gently slap you in the face with their words. Those are the friends you want to keep around.

It is in the “Wait, what?” moments that I am finding the greatest discoveries. They cause me to dig deeper, go further, and explore more in this great adventure of my story. Maybe it doesn’t look like what I had hoped for or expected. Maybe it’s worse, or maybe it’s better, but my hope for things to get better and exceed my expectations will not be rooted in what I see but in what He says. Discoveries come in the “Wait, what?” moments; don’t take them for granted!