New Normals

So what comes after the in-between, after the transition? It’s what I consider the best and worst part - finding a new “normal.” Have you ever found yourself in that place of, “What in the world do I do now?” Of course you have; you’re human. This can be both scary as hell and also super exciting. What I’m finding interesting and a bit hilarious is the very things that make it feel scary are the same things that make it an exciting adventure.

New normals. These come after the in-between. While they can be scary, they are also full of possibilities. Of course it’s scary to leave the familiar routine of what you’ve known. We get use to our routines. We have them for EVERYTHING. We create morning routines. We have them for getting to and from work. We have them for the week days. We have weekend routines. We have church or religious routines. We even have them in relationships. And I’m not bashing on routines. I LOVE them! But sometimes the routine that worked in one chapter of our lives doesn’t work for another. Sometimes they’re great and sometimes they’re not. For example: a routine of brushing your teeth regularly is a great thing to have. Otherwise, you will probably experience one of my biggest fears: all of your teeth falling out. Come on. You know you’ve at least had that thought even if it wasn’t a full on fear. I have even had dreams, well, nightmares about this. (I literally just shuddered at the thought.) Ok, so in cases like that, routines are great! What about in things like relationships? Sure. Some extent of routine can be great, because, and I’ll give all the guys out there a tip: women like security. You’re welcome. BUT, there is also this other side of things where you don’t want to fall into a routine that allows you to settle and prevents you from exploring.

Either way, there are times in life that require us to create new normals. I have recently found myself in such a place. Being in limbo for the last two months has had it’s pros and cons. I’ve just finished ministry school and have found myself in this place of dissatisfaction with certain routines. Some of them were due to patterns I’ve had my whole life, and some of them were due to the season I was in.  Upon ending school, I took the first two months to rest, recover and explore. While they were great, there was also a part of me that felt suspended in mid air - not necessarily falling, but not moving anywhere either. There are definitely times where we need those transitional seasons of rest, but personally, I can only “hang out” for so long before going crazy! Needless to say, I felt like I hit my limit and found myself at the crossroads of having to make decisions that would require new normals.

As I took some time to talk to myself...yes, to talk to myself...about how I was really feeling about these decisions, I realized I was just scared of the idea of creating new normals. I previously touched on leaving the familiar and how that can feel scary, but there is a step beyond that. After initially moving away from the familiar, the next step is creating a new normal. While that first step feels more scary than exciting, the next step of creating a new normal is more exciting than scary. THIS is where the exploration and adventure really begins.

Explore & Discover

I have recently found myself in a new city with new people (and a couple not-so-new) and new possibilities, but I also found myself freaking out a bit. What the heck am I doing? How do I start over? What does life look like here? I’m done with school…oh my gosh, I have to get back to adulting full time now! I experienced all of the thoughts that come in those freak-out moments where you realize you’re starting over. And I finally realized one of the main reasons was that I still felt like I was in that in-between place of one chapter ending and another beginning. So I had a choice to make. (Side note: I am very much an “all in” type person. That one foot in the door and one foot out business doesn’t work for me.) These are the moments you wish the audible voice from heaven will show up and tell you what to do with your life…you know, because then you wouldn’t feel so responsible and adult-like, but that’s not how God typically works, or at least that hasn’t been my experience; however, I usually have this sense of what I am going to do next or what the next step is for me, but not this time. So as I’m in a totally new place for the first time in my life, I’m realizing the Lord is just waiting for me to make a decision so He can meet me in it.

As I took some time to get over the scariness of making (what felt like) a big decision, the scariness of starting over, and the scariness of creating new normals, I finally decided to stay in this new city, invest, and be all-in. Welcome to adulting 2.0 - life after the familiar; life starting over; life after school; life outside of the routine; life outside of the norm. It may be one of the scariest places to be, but it is also the place of exploration and adventure where anything can happen. Why not just go for it?

So what are you waiting for? Where are you waiting to make some decisions because they feel scary? Where do you know you need new normals in your life? Why are you hanging out in the in-between when you have a new and beautiful chapter to start writing in your life? This is the time of great exploration and adventure, and whatever excuse you’re creating in your head to keep you from it…well, just stop it and dive in!